Xenophobic
What in the world is xenophobic? I know. An emotion word that starts with x. There are so few of them, but this one is real, too. Yes, I’m aware, I’m still exploring negative emotions, but this one is worth understanding a little better. First, let’s start with a definition of what that means.
Merriam-Webster defines xenophobia as having fear and hatred towards strangers, foreigners, or anything unfamiliar. This certainly has a context as it applies to prejudice and racism. (I found a good article about that here.) I believe, though, that it also has appropriate application as it pertains to our fear of different emotions.
For example, some people are more comfortable talking about negative emotions than others are. There’s a fear that happens when I notice my anger or depression about something. There’s still a rattle of “Oh goodness, if I’m depressed, something must be wrong with me.” Or, “This anger makes me want to rip something apart.” It’s as though I’m afraid of myself because these emotions seem ‘less acceptable’ to talk about and acknowledge. There’s fear about these feelings.
Here’s an idea: aren’t these negative emotions part of the landscape of what makes us human? It’s just as easy to feel joy as it is to feel sad. What happens when we broaden our knowledge about that which we fear? I am more open to understanding these feelings I’m afraid of when I realize I don’t have to stay there. It’s good to recognize them and understand where they are coming from. It’s also comforting to realize that I can shift my fear to curiosity. The curiosity perspective opens me to explore safely and understand more about myself and others.
It’s okay to feel xenophobic. It’s also okay to understand where my fear about my emotions is coming from. Being curious about my negative emotions gives me room to investigate and recognize what’s going on inside me. What’s so horrible about that? When I look at it this way, it’s not so big and overbearing. Let’s face our xenophobia, shall we? If it seems too big, break it down into smaller, digestible chunks. Talk with someone if that feels right for you. Pick up a pen and spill your thoughts about it. No one else has to read it, but it’s amazing how much it helps to create a palatable understanding about what’s going on.
Emotions make us real…
Explore more feelings in the Stayin’ in Touch – Negative Emotions book. You can play with them when or wherever you like.