Emotional maturity – what does that mean? Our world is full of both goodness and social unrest. My observations of current world issues lead me to believe there is value in conscious emotional awareness – emotional maturity.
Consider events such as politics, corporate well-being, crimes against others, grief, anger, school shootings, and so on. Conscious or unconscious emotional responses have everything to do with the maturity of our leaders, children, families, and individuals.
Emotional maturity means understanding how we experience and respond to feelings. For a simple example, imagine someone speaking harshly toward you. What is the first emotion you feel? Shock, anger, misunderstood, defensive, or something similar. When you feel the emotion, is it conscious or unconscious? For a unique example, remember someone who speaks lovingly to you. How is your immediate emotional feeling different from the first example? Caring, open, understanding, and warm. Again, when you feel the emotion, is it conscious or unconscious?
In my experience, both emotional intelligence and emotional maturity are becoming increasingly crucial in our complex world. I find that positivity and social turmoil coexist. Society today has a deeper understanding of conscious emotional awareness, often referred to as emotional maturity and I think is proving to be invaluable for successful living.
In a world grappling with issues spanning from politics to corporate well-being, the impact of emotions on the decisions and behaviors of leaders, families, and individuals cannot be underestimated. Consider instances such as crimes against others, school shootings, and collective grief – all of which highlight the profound influence of emotional responses on our society’s fabric.
When taking a step back and viewing holistically, the core of emotional maturity lies in the comprehension of how we react with our emotions. Imagine encountering someone who speaks harshly to you; instinctively, emotions like shock, anger, or defensiveness arise. In contrast, think about a scenario where someone speaks with kindness and affection. The reactionary emotions, such as warmth and understanding, create a different emotional landscape.
Now who loves feeling jubilation in their bones? I do, I do! It makes me want to jump up and down and this amazing thing happens with my face. It smiles and my eyes twinkle, and laughter seems to just ooze out with no effort. Let’s experiment with feeling jubilation for a bit, shall we? Go ahead, get your jubilation on!
There now. How does that feel? It feels like warmth beaming through my being, and I feel a bit like floating. Imagine your whole body filling with spritzy bubbles. That’s what my body feels like when I feel jubilation. My most recent experience with this (at the time of writing this) was the Boomer Sooner win over the Longhorns. (The one day a year my husband and I cheer for opposite teams.) Squeeeeee! See? My body even makes these fun little squee sounds.
This emotion serves as a reminder of all the beauty and wonder in life. It reinforces our connections with others. While it is possible to feel jubilation without outside influences, it often occurs when there are other people around. What better way to connect with our fellow humans? In joy. Allowing myself to feel jubilant stirs hope and gives me glimpses of overwhelming happiness. That feels nice.
Jubilation is an emotion I strive for daily. It’s nice to have unadulterated joy in my daily servings of emotions. It lightens my load and has amazing contagious effects. When I see someone who is jubilant, it’s hard not to get caught up in it with them, even when I’m feeling crabby or grumpy. Perhaps having some of this in our daily diet of emotions helps us to remember we don’t have to stay crabby or grumpy.
Let’s jump in and allow some jubilation to fill our spirits. You game? It’s a profound reminder of the beautiful potential in this human experience of ours.
Emotions can save us from ourselves…
If you would like to explore more feelings in the Stayin’ in Touch – Positive Emotions book, click here for more information.
Don’t we have an interesting history in letters? Sure, you could take this to the level of each A, B, or Z that impacts our history. What I’m referring to is the correspondence we give and get, and how that shapes our history. Yes, the fine art of letter writing. In the digital age, physical letters are less frequent.
My parents collected things during their lifetime. (Don’t we all?) One of their collections, though, I am extremely grateful for. They saved boxes of letters to and from my grandmother—about 5 years of correspondence. Most of it was letters she wrote to her mother; at least once a week, sometimes more frequently. She died when my dad was 2 years old, so I never met her, or her parents.
When my parents made their transition from their home to a smaller, more contained living environment, they shared these letters with me. WOW! I committed myself to reading those letters so I could get to know this part of my family whom I never met. Most of the letters date from the late 1920s to the mid-1930s. A time capsule!
Are you feeling kind? Kind is one of those feelings, like gratitude, that creates a spirit that people gravitate toward. It feels generous and open. We all enjoy receiving kindness. There’s feeling kind, acting kind, and one-of-a-kind. I’m exploring the feeling today.
My heart and consciousness soften when I feel kind. There’s a connecting-type energy that courses through my being. Sit there for a moment and feel that. That’s a pleasant feeling.
If this violin could talk, I would love to hear the stories! When I was 13 years old, my family moved to Fort Worth (from Ponca City) and I needed a violin. Charlotte had one collecting dust and loaned it to me. I didn’t know how long the loan would last, but it was good for the moment.
Charlotte’s dad bought a violin for her from a band of gypsies in search of funds for medication. The red violin (painted with barn paint) was gonna get a makeover. In 1933, they refinished the instrument, removing most of the paint. As the story goes, Charlotte hated playing the violin but obliged her parents’ insistence. She was all too happy for the violin to be used by someone who would play it, and I was the lucky recipient.
10 years (or so) into my courtship with Barney (that’s what I named the violin), I sought to have the instrument appraised. Inside the F holes, I could see 2 labels. One was a Stradivarius label dated 1690, and the other was the 1933 label identifying Joseph Stamp as the refinisher. I was curious to determine the authenticity of the Stradivarius label. How cool would that be?
I’m liking this! I’m grabbing an interesting feeling out of the bag today; liking. You know, that feeling where you like things. I’ve not put this feeling into words before, but I’m going out on a limb to say it exists. Don’t you like liking things?
There’s a satisfying feeling that comes from liking something. Whether you like the way you feel, or like doing something. When I like something, an interesting alignment occurs. A desire in my heart aligns with an activity or sense of something. When I like something, it seasons the deliciousness of life and that which makes me happy.
When I like, my body feels lighter. I like my job, or having that yummy deli sandwich. I keep going back to the perception of alignment. There is a correlation between liking something and feeding the joy I want to feel in my heart. They resonate together, like milk and cookies. I like you! I enjoy (or as some would spell it, injoy) your company, sharing our life together. Isn’t that a friendly feeling—liking?
Ever said, “One day I’ll…?” How many times have you said that to yourself? It’s the little bookmark we give ourselves when we set something aside to do or say. Think for a moment about all the things you’ve ‘one day’d’. I wonder how many days are in that bookmark list. I have quite a few on my list, but I’m happy to report that my list is getting smaller and smaller since I retired from my corporate job. Suspicion tells me, though, that there are a good number of days on the list that will not see the light of day.
A couple of reasons to examine our one-day list. One—Are there things on that list that you could do right now that would enhance the quality of your life? Two—Are there things on that list that are no longer relevant?
Let’s talk about how marvelous feels. I experience feeling marvelous as wonder or astonishment. When I feel marvelous, it transcends mere happiness and feels more like resonating with pure joy. Marvelous, though, differs from joy. It feels more expansive than joy. Joy makes me smile; marvelous makes my whole being smile—inside and out. It is the crescendo that brings all the instruments together in a harmonious climax.
When I feel marvelous, my body feels like it’s floating on a cushion of air. It is warm and tingly and comes from my core, like the touch of the first rays of sunrise. It is a harmonious energy that feels electrifying and soothing at the same time.
Marvelous creates a general feeling of confidence. Unlike arrogance, it is a pure form of self-assurance. My heart feels a profound joy and serenity at the same time. It opens me to find wonder in simple things, similar to a child discovering the savory deliciousness of ice cream.
When I think about emotional intelligence, I think about knowledge pertaining to emotions. The ability to name emotions and acknowledge them gives us the power to be attuned to how we feel. That knowledge gives us awareness about what’s going on inside ourselves. It also gives us information about how we feel impacts our interactions with others.
How is emotional intelligence different from emotional maturity? In my mind, emotional maturity has more to do with how we use our emotions in our lives. Ever get a shocking emotional response from someone? For me, this is a display of immature emotional knowledge or sensitivity. It’s okay for someone to feel what they are feeling. When someone reacts quickly without understanding their feelings, it can lead to bad outcomes. The receiving end of that is often undesirable.
In contrast, emotional intelligence has more to do with being knowledgeable about emotions. First, understanding what an emotion is and giving it a name gives us a context for understanding what we feel. That knowledge gives us a foundation to explore more about it.
Nirvana is that deep, sustained feeling of contentment and harmony that comes from a profound connection with yourself and the world. There’s no suffering or desire in this feeling. It is peace-full, and mindful.
Have you experienced moments when you felt completely connected to all of life? I feel this when I’m hiking in the woods. I hear the leaves rustle, the birds conversing, and the sound of my feet as they trod upon the earth. My mind is free to breathe and feel the life in the trees and plants around me. When chaos abounds, I reach for nirvana to calm the wild buzz of energy around me.
When I step into feeling nirvana, my body calms and settles into a sense of acceptance. At the risk of sounding woo-woo, I feel attuned to the vibration of life around me. The energy might be calm, or it might be rambunctious. The key is being engaged with it, realizing I’m a part of it, and understanding how fluid we are. It allows me to feel without resisting or clinging to something.
Someone asked me the other day how I came up with Life Writes. Think with me for a moment about the experiences you have every day—or better yet, through the course of your life. How have those experiences shaped who you are today? I venture a guess that your experiences influence who you are and how you interact with life around you. I know my experiences add color to my life canvas. (Her canvas is like the sky, it’s always changing.)
Experiences can be big or small, but they all help hold things together and mold us into the unique beings we are. Think about one of your bigger life experiences. Can you see parts of that in yourself that color how you interact with others? Here’s one of mine. I have a friend I met in the 7th grade, right after I moved to a new place. To this day, she is still one of my best friends.
Feeling optimistic! It’s a glass-half-full kind of day. To me, optimism looks like a fist pump with a big YES attached to it. You know, when the pieces all come together and it’s a ‘yes’ moment? I feel like I can do anything when I tap into feeling optimistic. Favorable outcomes all around!
My body feels confident when I feel optimistic. How ‘bout you? Where does optimism live in your body? I can feel my shoulders drop, my posture is straight and supportive, and I can feel myself smiling. It brings about a can-do attitude that spills into anything I’m doing.
I have a morning routine that involves walking 3 miles every day. When I pop out of bed in the morning, I give myself a few moments to wake up and get my bearings, and I find a good walking video to watch. Then, I set myself up on the treadmill, and away I go! Right now I’m watching a walking tour in Sydney, Australia—one of my favorite places. I’m optimistic about moving, about walking and lifting weights while I saunter through Sydney City. I see the Opera House, the Circular Quay, Darling Harbour, and everything around and in between.