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    • Emotional Maturity

      Emotional Maturity

      Emotional maturity – what does that mean? Our world is full of both goodness and social unrest. My observations of current world issues lead me to believe there is value in conscious emotional awareness – emotional maturity.

      Consider events such as politics, corporate well-being, crimes against others, grief, anger, school shootings, and so on. Conscious or unconscious emotional responses have everything to do with the maturity of our leaders, children, families, and individuals.

      Emotional Maturity Feelings

      Emotional maturity means understanding how we experience and respond to feelings. For a simple example, imagine someone speaking harshly toward you. What is the first emotion you feel? Shock, anger, misunderstood, defensive, or something similar. When you feel the emotion, is it conscious or unconscious? For a unique example, remember someone who speaks lovingly to you. How is your immediate emotional feeling different from the first example? Caring, open, understanding, and warm. Again, when you feel the emotion, is it conscious or unconscious?

      As humans, we are capable of responding or reacting to feelings consciously or unconsciously. Can you sense the difference between the two? Understanding how we are reacting and responding has everything to do with our emotional maturity.

      When someone speaks harshly, it is perfectly normal to feel shocked, angry, and so on. However, when we identify the feeling, we are acknowledging it. Then, we have a conscious choice about our response. That is emotional maturity. On the other side of the coin, if we respond unconsciously, without consideration or thinking, we create a platform for unwanted results. This is emotional immaturity.

      Increasing our emotional vocabulary and observing our responses gives us conscious life tools to navigate personal and global events. These tools affect how we respond and live. I intend this suite of blogs to both increase our emotional vocabulary and increase our understanding of how different emotions function for us. This conscious exercise is the root of growing our emotional maturity.

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    • Resources

      Planet SARK

      Unchained Writer

    • Emotional Maturity: Navigating Life with Conscious Awareness

      Emotional Maturity: Navigating Life with Conscious Awareness

      In my experience, both emotional intelligence and emotional maturity are becoming increasingly crucial in our complex world. I find that positivity and social turmoil coexist. Society today has a deeper understanding of conscious emotional awareness, often referred to as emotional maturity and I think is proving to be invaluable for successful living.

      In a world grappling with issues spanning from politics to corporate well-being, the impact of emotions on the decisions and behaviors of leaders, families, and individuals cannot be underestimated. Consider instances such as crimes against others, school shootings, and collective grief – all of which highlight the profound influence of emotional responses on our society’s fabric.

      Emotional Maturity

      When taking a step back and viewing holistically, the core of emotional maturity lies in the comprehension of how we react with our emotions. Imagine encountering someone who speaks harshly to you; instinctively, emotions like shock, anger, or defensiveness arise. In contrast, think about a scenario where someone speaks with kindness and affection. The reactionary emotions, such as warmth and understanding, create a different emotional landscape.

      We each possess the capacity to respond consciously to our feelings. This response reflects our emotional maturity. When faced with harsh words, it is natural to experience negative emotions. However, the pivotal step towards emotional maturity is acknowledging these feelings and consciously choosing our responses. On the flip side, reacting without thoughtful consideration leads to emotional immaturity, setting the stage for unfavorable outcomes.

      Emotional Tools: Stayin’ in Touch Emotion Journals

      One powerful tool for enhancing emotional maturity is expanding our emotional vocabulary and closely observing our reactions. Equipped with these tools, we can adeptly navigate both personal and global challenges. This heightened awareness not only shapes our responses but also influences our way of life.

      By nurturing and maturing our emotional responses, we empower ourselves to lead more thoughtful, considerate, and fulfilling lives amidst the complex tapestry of our ever-changing world.

      Jerome Grey, Contributing Author

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    • Nirvana

      Nirvana

      Nirvana is that deep, sustained feeling of contentment and harmony that comes from a profound connection with yourself and the world. There’s no suffering or desire in this feeling. It is peace-full, and mindful.

      Have you experienced moments when you felt completely connected to all of life? I feel this when I’m hiking in the woods. I hear the leaves rustle, the birds conversing, and the sound of my feet as they trod upon the earth. My mind is free to breathe and feel the life in the trees and plants around me. When chaos abounds, I reach for nirvana to calm the wild buzz of energy around me.

      When I step into feeling nirvana, my body calms and settles into a sense of acceptance. At the risk of sounding woo-woo, I feel attuned to the vibration of life around me. The energy might be calm, or it might be rambunctious. The key is being engaged with it, realizing I’m a part of it, and understanding how fluid we are. It allows me to feel without resisting or clinging to something.

      Nirvana teaches me I am not alone in this world—we’re all connected and our energy impacts the whole of life. It helps me act from a place of compassion toward myself and others. My ego falls away so I can be open, aware, and intentional about operating from the wise heart within me.

      Think for a moment about ocean waves. Each individual wave is a part of the whole. A wave may escalate and roll over, creating a splash or momentum, but it is a part of the whole living organism that is the sea. A wave cannot roll without all the other energy surrounding it. It dances with the energy of all that is within and around it. That is nirvana.

      Take a few moments to be with the nirvana inside you. How does it change you? How does it influence your perception? What does it do to your assessment of yourself?

      Emotions are like waves moving us…

      If you would like to explore more feelings in the Stayin’ in Touch – Positive Emotions book, click here for more information.

      Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

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    • Story People

      Marcy

    • Life Writes

      Life Writes

      Someone asked me the other day how I came up with Life Writes. Think with me for a moment about the experiences you have every day—or better yet, through the course of your life. How have those experiences shaped who you are today? I venture a guess that your experiences influence who you are and how you interact with life around you. I know my experiences add color to my life canvas. (Her canvas is like the sky, it’s always changing.)

      Experiences can be big or small, but they all help hold things together and mold us into the unique beings we are. Think about one of your bigger life experiences. Can you see parts of that in yourself that color how you interact with others? Here’s one of mine. I have a friend I met in the 7th grade, right after I moved to a new place. To this day, she is still one of my best friends.

      How about the small stuff? Do small experiences affect how you interact with others? Here’s one of mine. I just watched a video about feeling playful, and it has turned my procrastinating mood into something much more delightful. Perhaps you can subliminally feel the difference in my choice of words or tone of voice.

      Every day is an experiment. You’ll see people today that you didn’t see yesterday. You’ll see some of the same people today that you saw yesterday. Your interactions with those folks may be very similar, but here’s the thing; your unique experiences since yesterday can change how you relate to each other today.

      How you feel, and the experiences you have, affect how you present yourself and see others. There are fresh stories to tell and there are new colors in your palate affecting the tone of the picture you’re painting. Life writes. These are my stories, and I share them freely. Perhaps my story complements your story. Who knows?

      Image by StefanSchweihofer from Pixabay

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    • Optimistic

      Optimistic

      Feeling optimistic! It’s a glass-half-full kind of day. To me, optimism looks like a fist pump with a big YES attached to it. You know, when the pieces all come together and it’s a ‘yes’ moment? I feel like I can do anything when I tap into feeling optimistic. Favorable outcomes all around!

      My body feels confident when I feel optimistic. How ‘bout you? Where does optimism live in your body? I can feel my shoulders drop, my posture is straight and supportive, and I can feel myself smiling. It brings about a can-do attitude that spills into anything I’m doing.

      I have a morning routine that involves walking 3 miles every day. When I pop out of bed in the morning, I give myself a few moments to wake up and get my bearings, and I find a good walking video to watch. Then, I set myself up on the treadmill, and away I go! Right now I’m watching a walking tour in Sydney, Australia—one of my favorite places. I’m optimistic about moving, about walking and lifting weights while I saunter through Sydney City. I see the Opera House, the Circular Quay, Darling Harbour, and everything around and in between.

      What’s the difference between feeling optimistic and feeling positive? Optimism refers to a general belief or expectation that things will turn out well. Feeling positive has more to do with positive thinking attitudes and/or actions. Can you remember the last time you felt optimistic? You could clearly see the potential of what was going on around you. Perhaps it felt hopeful.

      I’m striving to feel more optimistic. Feeling optimistic breeds a plethora of ‘can-do’ partners. Anything feels possible. There’s that potential coming back in for a peek. It’s a prominent emotion to have in the vocabulary, and an even more amazing one to put on and wear for a while. There’s no requirement to have it on all the time, but it brings a nice undercurrent to my perspectives about things.

      Emotions are flexible and move through us fluidly…

      If you would like to explore more feelings in the Stayin’ in Touch – Positive Emotions book, click here for more information.

      Image by Vinzenz Lorenz M from Pixabay

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    • Memoir Excerpt – 1

      Memoir Excerpt – 1

      This memoir excerpt comes from a chapter about sugar-coating the ugly. I sometimes refer to my kidnap and rape trauma as the big ugly. Here’s an excerpt from my first draft. (Remember, it’s a work in progress!)

      The concept that there are rich lessons to be learned from our life experiences is interesting. There are those who respond to this idea with a negative connotation. Somehow, the ‘good’ that comes from such an experience lessens the profound horror of the experience. If I’m speaking from my experience, I see it from a different perspective. My big ugly is my big amazing. Not that I’m grateful for the experience, but I’m grateful for my choices.

      There is nothing good or pretty or amazing about being raped and kidnapped. It’s horrible! In my mind, there’s no reason for another human being to do that to another person. It is senseless and cruel.

      We have a choice, though, about how we choose to deal with it. Some people will forever feel victimized by their experiences. Others will pick themselves up and survive it—life will go on and it will become a past. For me, this historical part of life is now a part of what makes me who I am. No matter what sort of path you choose to come to peace with it, I’m so very glad you’re here and that you are alive.

      Dealing with this kind of trauma is vast and complicated. There are about as many ways to handle it as there are people in this world. One way is not necessarily better than another. They are all different. This story is about the hills, valleys, and mountains I’ve climbed to be where I am today. I honor whatever process works for you. You are you, and I want you to do you.

      There’s more to come… (…he waited patiently for the next string of words from her work in progress.)

      Image by Myriams-Fotos from Pixabay

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    • Passion

      Passion

      The passion I’m referring to today is the one that ignites your soul. You know, the emotion we grasp that urges us to pursue our dreams and embrace life. It lights up our hearts and sets our spirits on fire.

      When I feel passionate (as defined above), it looks like an insatiable drive or magnet that pulls me. I’m passionate about helping people learn how to name and acknowledge their emotions. (Can you tell?) The root of this passion comes from observing what people do to each other when they get disconnected from their hearts. When someone stops caring, people get hurt. I visualize a world where emotions are so prolifically a part of our vocabulary. In this world, it’s rare for someone to speak without specifically identifying an emotion.

      When I’m aware of feeling passion, I can feel an energy surge through my whole being. It feels like an unstoppable force that fills me with purpose and enthusiasm. This feeling helps me learn about my strengths and weaknesses. When I tap into that, I discover new potential inside me waiting for an appropriate platform for expression.

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    • Broken Pipes

      Broken Pipes

      You’re standing in the shower, humming a nonsensical tune, and suddenly you hear a peculiar gurgle in the nearby toilet. Your heart skips a beat and you halt. The shampoo lather drips down your face like a deranged Santa Claus beard. Yes, my friends, you have just entered the twilight zone of broken pipes.

      The mischievous troublemaker, the broken pipe, becomes the antagonist in a bad B-Movie. Hiding in the belly of your backyard, they sneak around; waiting for the most inconvenient moment to strike. Just when you thought you were safe, your toilet sounds like a boiling cauldron. BOOM! Suddenly, the day you looked forward to turns into an adventure of discovery.

      Oh, the thrill of being on a first-name basis with the local plumber. Unexpectedly, the script for your well-intentioned day requires refocus. This knight in shining overalls comes to your rescue, with wrenches in hand. He comes with a willingness to conquer the beasts lurking somewhere in the underneath.

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    • Quiet

      Quiet

      Be still and savor feeling quiet. There now. Isn’t that nice? Let the noise and distractions fall away and let your whole self feel quiet and still; your body and your mind. Can you hear yourself think? What do you observe about yourself when you feel quiet?

      When I embrace quietness, a profound stillness settles within me. The chaotic symphony of thoughts and worries gradually fades away. My mind becomes open, and even my inner chatter finds stillness. Now I can tune into my inner self and connect with the world around me.

      How do you go about being quiet? Is it a feeling you suddenly feel, or is it something you look for? Some find solace in nature, surrounded by gently rustling leaves and soothing birdsong. Others find a cozy corner to savor the blissful absence of external demands. When I’m feeling quiet, I can embrace the hush and tune into my heart.

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    • When Friendships Pause

      When Friendships Pause

      When friendships pause, this can introduce different dynamics in the relationship. Sometimes when a relationship pauses, it ends. (That’s a topic for another time.) Other times, the pause causes a suspension of sorts, but the essence of the bond remains untouched.

      When a friendship pauses, you might assume the relationship is at the end of an era. However, the truth might be far more enchanting than you realize. Think of it as a magical journey into the world of the in-between. While the friendship may not progress in a conventional sense, its foundation remains unshaken. Unread messages, missed calls, and incomplete plans all still exist, awaiting the right moment.

      Relationships Pause

      I’ve experienced this. When we graduated high school, my best friend and I went our separate ways. We each did life differently, but the essence of our relationship sat patiently in suspension until the moment came for us to reconnect. And you know what? We picked up right where we left off. Sure, we each did some growing up during our pause period, but the essence of who we were as friends never changed. I love that about our relationship. The pause was okay; we still loved each other.

      These pauses in relationships can teach us that the ebb and flow of life can affect the bonds we hold dear, but it doesn’t diminish their significance. These friendships whisper to us, “Even in the stillness, I’m here.” Sometimes, life’s responsibilities take precedence, forcing friends to venture down separate paths. Other times, distance or circumstances intervene, creating an invisible wall between two hearts. Yet, when you press the pause button, these friendships become an ethereal presence, a flicker of light in the dark corners of our memories.

      Fear not! Friendships that pause have the potential to dance back into our lives. They are the unfinished symphonies, waiting for their grand finale. When the time is right, they reawaken with a burst of color, as if the universe conspires to bring them back together.

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    • Finding Laughter in Life

      Finding Laughter in Life

      Laughter, the universal language of joy, has an enchanting power to transcend barriers and touch the deepest recesses of our hearts. In a world brimming with responsibilities and challenges, discovering moments of genuine ‘funny’ can be a lifeline.

      Life often presents us with a tapestry of experiences – some delightful, others demanding. Amidst it all, the ability to find humor can be a beacon, guiding us through our daily routines. When we stumble upon something funny, a spontaneous burst of laughter bubbles up from some place deep in ourselves. It can feel like a refreshing breeze, momentarily lifting the weight of our worries.

      Alexis Faere Laughter

      Close friendships are often nurtured through shared laughter. The camaraderie of relishing inside jokes or getting caught in contagious giggles can bond like nothing else. These precious moments become cherished memories that we share with our friends for life.

      Yet, the true beauty of laughter lies in its incredible potential to ripple forward. Have you ever been in a crowded room when one person’s infectious laughter sets off a chain reaction? Laughter can be as infectious as a yawn, spreading from person to person until the entire room is caught up in its euphoria.

      In times of sorrow or stress, humor might seem distant, but it’s during these moments that finding a glimmer of laughter becomes even more valuable. It’s not about ignoring challenges, but about granting ourselves a reprieve – allowing our hearts to breathe amidst the chaos. Have you ever heard someone burp in church? Ha!

      Alexis Faere Laughter

      So, how do we find this lovable laughter in life? It’s all about listening. Often, the most mundane situations harbor hidden hilarity. Embracing a lighthearted view can transform the ordinary into bursts of joy that no one can stop. Cultivating a childlike willingness to see the levity in situations enables us to see the whole world through mental smiles, unveiling the comedic moment ready to explode.

      Embracing laughter is a choice I make to infuse my life with a touch of enchantment. It’s about seeking out the whimsical, sharing a chuckle with friends, and allowing ourselves to be swept up in the currents of joy. As we navigate the intricate tapestry of life, may we always find the threads of laughter to weave into its fabric.

      Jerome Grey, contributing author

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