Do you ever wake up feeling miserable? Maybe life happens, and you sink into a miserable abyss without realizing it. When miserable pays you a visit, are you aware? Do you notice and pay attention to what’s going on?
When I feel miserable, I often get a healthy dose of despair to accompany my experiences. Misery loves company, right? I’ve learned something about it, though. Misery can mean that something important is out of alignment. Perhaps a personal value or boundary is screaming for attention. Maybe it’s an emotion that wants us to pay attention to something we care about. Did you ever push something to the bottom of your list so many times it felt like a monster instead of something you can whip out in a short block of time?
Let me say this: Misery does not mean you’re broken. It means something wants your attention. Those who know me realize I have an active journal life. When misery stops in for a visit, journaling about things I long for, things I’m avoiding, or things that matter to me always helps. (Oh, I see now that I set my feelings aside, and they want to play, too.) It allows me to shift the negative connotation of misery into something enlightening. Sometimes I play opposites with it: misery/joy, misery/love, misery/peace, misery/comfort. You see, both are present, and sometimes at the same time. Being aware of the extremes helps me settle into the juicy middle.
I know it is far easier to say these words than to put them into action—when misery is present, instead of running from it, run into it. Do you know anyone on this earth that is always happy; literally, always happy? I don’t. We’re all bound to experience a smidgen of misery from time to time. Psst! It means you’re human! Yes, hello misery. Thank you for reminding me it’s okay to put boundaries around… for me to value my desires… for me to be grateful.
Explore more feelings in the Stayin’ in Touch – Negative Emotions book. You can play with them when or wherever you like.
Image by Trương Hoàng Huy Ngân from Pixabay
Do you feel shame?
Emotions can be teachers for us to stay true to who we are or who we want to be. Think for a moment about the last time you felt shame. Where does that feeling come from? Did you think or believe that if you hid, your shame would disappear and no one would notice? Maybe you felt like you were flawed.
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What does Fear look like? To me, it looks like someone hiding from something or someone. It looks like a bird that takes flight when I walk too close or an animal that jumps upon hearing something startling. I sometimes do things because I am afraid of a certain outcome and choose to do something different so as not to elicit the feared conclusion or consequence.
Fear feels like running away or intentionally avoiding something. I feel it in my muscles because they tense up to somehow try to protect me. Sometimes I feel it in my gut, like a warning message. I feel fear when I’m outdoors, or camping in stormy weather. My fear comes from a place of wanting to feel safe.
What is the function of Fear? Oh, this is a big one! It functions in some circumstances to warn me of impending danger. Other times, it functions to keep me hidden from sight for one reason or another. Sometimes fear functions from a position of perspective, because I got a certain unwanted response as a result of something I said or how I said it.
I think, ultimately, fear is looking out for my best interests, and it wants me to feel safe and loved. Perhaps when I feel it, I can determine if it is protecting me, or if it is helping me to avoid or run away from something. If I’m avoiding, then I can acknowledge it and allow my fear to give me a big ol’ teddy bear hug. Then maybe I can listen to it with different ears and act accordingly.
Here is a permission slip for you to explore fear. It’s okay to do this in small incremental steps. Try a little short step. What does fear look like to you? How does it feel to you? What is fear’s function? How might you tweak it to work on your behalf?
Part of being human is being aware of all of our feelings…
Continue ReadingGive yourself permission to feel angry when you need to.
Morning light spills across my journal as I sit with a fresh wave of heat rising in my chest. Moreover, noticing this spark without immediate judgment feels like a tender act of self-respect. Furthermore, anger often arrives as a messenger carrying important truths I might otherwise overlook. Consequently, welcoming it gently allows the energy to move through rather than stay stuck inside.
I used to push anger away quickly, believing it made me less spiritual or kind. Additionally, that resistance only built pressure until it spilled out sideways. Therefore, I now create safe space for the feeling to exist fully. Meanwhile, my body softens once I stop fighting what is already present.
Give yourself permission to feel anger when needed
Yet even in the midst of strong emotion, I breathe and remember I am safe. However, anger reveals boundaries I need to honor or values I hold dear. Thus, it becomes fuel for clear communication instead of destruction. Besides, releasing the shame around this natural response brings surprising freedom.
- Practice good emotional permission with healthy anger release techniques
- Explore good self-compassion tools during intense good feeling moments
- Discover good ways to transform anger into empowered action and clarity
Nevertheless, the real gift appears when I listen closely to what anger protects. Instead, I ask what needs defending or what truth wants expression. Additionally, this honest dialogue deepens my connection with myself. Therefore, I emerge stronger, clearer, and more authentic in my relationships.
Ultimately, giving myself full permission to feel angry when I need to honors the complete range of my human experience. So today I celebrate this courageous allowance because it opens the door to genuine peace afterward. What situation in your life might benefit from this same gentle permission? I invite you to try offering it to yourself and notice the quiet healing that follows. Learn more about healthy anger expression here.
“What on earth is Xenia?” you ask. In my search for emotions, beginning with the letter X, I found the list to be rather limited. Good ol’ letter X and its interesting words! Let’s learn a new one, shall we?
From a standpoint of emotions, the meaning of xenia I’m working with here relates to the concept of hospitality to strangers. You’re being xenial when you extend kindness or hospitable gestures to strangers. Did you know that? This was a new one for me!
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Life Gifts
- Sending you nourishing rest and mindful body care.
- I send you joy as I think about how delightful you are.
- I send you lush green mountain meadows splattered with wildflowers for you to rest and rejuvenate your soul.
- I send you calm, to remember love and caring.
- I send you glorious freedom to move your body and experience joy.
- Sending you bursts of energy and focus.
- Sending you a luxury craft to drift in a while you regroup.
- Sending you tasty inspiration.
- I send you different flavored lollipops to quench your craving.
- I send you tender, loving arms to hold you in care and love.
- Sending you warmth and caring.
- I send you a warm spot of cheer and buckets of love for you to use as you wish.
- I send you patience and understanding, and a powerful little elf to manage all your worries.
- I send you good thoughts for successful surgery, for doctors and nurses to care for you with love and honor, and for healing comfort.
- I send you buckets of bubbling, juicy kindness.
- Sending you giant pails of peace to spill or splash in.
- I send you music to make your insides dance.
- Sending you oodles of energy noodles.
- I send you peaces to resolve the conflicts you’re experiencing right now.
- Sending you calm to scatter around the chaos.
- I send you fresh, fragrant flowers with lots of different colors to brighten your corner of the world.
- I send you over-flowing cups of love to restore your heart and soul.
- I send you warm nourishing rays of light.
- I send you succulent sweet chocolate kisses and delightfully warm hugs.
- I send you patience to allow new things to unfold positively for your life.
- I send you peaces.
- I send you delicious caring and big love.
- I send you billowing bubbles of joy.
- I send you warm, comfortable rest.
- Sending you willing, loving hearts and hands to help you.
- I send you whimsical moments that make you giggle out loud, whether or not you’re around people.
- I send you light to illuminate the places inside you that seem dark.
- I send you focus as you practice setting up new routines to support your engagement with your true self.
- Sending you loving hands to cradle your tender heart.
- I send you joy.
- I send you buckets of smiles to share with everyone you meet.
- I send you inspiration to put thoughts on paper.
- I send you healing energy as you mend your heart and body.
- I send you calm as you step back into work from being off for a few weeks.
- I send you gentle care and comfort, and I hold your heart with love in mine.
- I send you chortles, giggles, and warm hugs.
- I send you delicious moments to remove clutter from your life.
- I send you warm blankets to snuggle with as you sip warm tea and warm up your cold body.
- Sending you the best of birthday wishes and some special binoculars for you to see all the puddles of goodness that follow you around and support you.
- I send you focus and energy as you write today.
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