Querulous
What the heck does querulous mean? I know. It’s a new description of a feeling for my vocabulary, too! Querulous pertains to feeling dissatisfied or annoyed, which leads to chronic complaining. Have you ever been there before, or been around someone who is suffering from querulousness? I bet we all have!
So what is it up this querulous feeling? I’ve certainly fallen into the trap of imagining that I’d feel better if I complained about something. But you know what? The act of complaining may give us temporary relief by just verbalizing what’s bugging us and saying it out loud. However, when someone gets stuck there, how do you help them get unstuck? (Myself included!)
One thing we can do is acknowledge the shared feelings: “I can see why you’d be upset by that” or “I can relate to that.” Another thing you can do is give someone a couple of moments to just let it all out. Let them complain for 2 minutes and then make room for exploring what might make things better. If you’re the one complaining, you might try shifting your thoughts or focus to something positive about what’s going on. Here’s an example. “The hotel didn’t meet my expectations, but I enjoyed the interesting architecture.” You see, finding something positive about the situation can shift our focus to more positive thoughts. (Thank you, querulous thoughts, and it’s time for a shift!)
Are you feeling the urge to complain about something? Go for it! Give yourself 2 whole minutes to complain away. Let it all out! Now give yourself a moment to see the situation with fresh eyes. What is also amazing about the drama? Go ahead, give yourself 2 minutes to see what’s positive about your circumstance. Can you feel the shift of energy that happens? What if feeling querulous is a gateway? Give yourself the freedom to complain and then turn around and find what’s also golden in the opportunity.
Wear the feelings that resonate with where you are…
Explore more feelings in the Stayin’ in Touch – Negative Emotions book. You can play with them when or wherever you like.