Offended
When was the last time you felt offended? It is an emotion you probably feel more often than you realize. Think for a moment about the last time you felt offended. Did you feel threatened? Perhaps the feeling helped to spark a conversation, or maybe it opened a door for you to see something about yourself. Yes? No?
I often feel attacked when I feel offended, which leads me to feel disregarded or sometimes it causes me to examine my beliefs. The good news is, when I feel offended, it’s not a life sentence. I choose to see it as a signal to examine someone else’s ideas. Maybe what they’re offering is something I hadn’t considered before. When I get into that space about it, this emotion helps me stay open to different thoughts. I can then choose what fits for me and what doesn’t.
Often our first instinct when we feel offended leads to harsh defenses which can lead us to say or do things that perhaps are slightly misguided. Instead of lashing out to ‘defend’ our personal integrity, what if feeling offended is an invitation to examine ourselves? In that light, lashing out seems silly.
The key is to recognize what’s going on so we can respond instead of react. Sure, you might react on the inside. Maybe that reaction is an invitation. These emotions we’re getting to know are sometimes ready to do some growing up so they do what they can to get our attention. I’ve learned that when emotions want to be heard and seen, sometimes they feel more intense. Maybe that’s their signal for us to dig a little deeper and find out what it’s trying to show us.
Hello Offended! Thank you for showing me that about myself. I see you! Now, make like a super accountant and count all the green beans in the world. Ha ha ha! (I wonder how many green beans there are in the world.)
Explore more feelings in the Stayin’ in Touch – Negative Emotions book. You can play with them when or wherever you like.