I hate when that happens! How many times have you said this to yourself or out loud? It’s pretty easy for us to jump on the hate bandwagon, and it is a thunderously loud emotion. Hate easily pops up in topics such as politics, social issues, or even personal attacks. What is the possibility that when we feel hate, there are deeper awarenesses at work?

How hate worms its way into our emotional library.

Hate can appear as a boundary indicator. We feel it when something feels deeply violated. It’s our nervous system saying, “You’ve crossed a line, and I’m not sure how to protect myself.” We all value dignity, safety, fairness, and love in our lives, and when that comes into question, we often react by feeling anger or hate.

Sometimes hate comes from a place of pain in our lives. It shows up as compressed grief or fear that is hardening. Perhaps softer emotions that feel too vulnerable to touch are armoring themselves as a means of protection. In a backwards process, this strong hate emotion makes its appearance, and we fool ourselves into thinking it gives us strength.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Change. Change? What change? You guessed it! When we don’t address hate, its stored energy corrodes our insides. When we see it, hate can fuel our efforts regarding social movements and personal transformations as a way of saying, “No more!” But wait! Do you really want to act from a hateful place, or would you rather use the momentum for change in a way that keeps you (and others) safe?

What if hate is begging for attention toward something meaningful?

Here are some ideas around the quiet gifts tucked into this hate package.

Boundaries move and grow as we do. This strong, uncomfortable reaction to a perceived boundary violation might be a crucial alert to prevent a bigger problem. Pick up a pencil and allow yourself to experiment with new lines (new boundaries).

When we acknowledge hate without shaming it, it can soften back into its original truth. Instead of running from what seems too raw to face, we open pathways for healing to occur. Instead of a boiling cauldron of fear or grief, we give ourselves a rejuvenating pool of understanding and healing.

Because hate is so full of energy, what if we used some of that energy to propel our causes forward without letting it drive the car? Instead of forcing the proverbial square peg into the round hole, we can be creative in our actions to find respectful solutions.

Maybe that clenched fist of hate is asking for a little understanding. Giving ourselves a moment of pause with our big ears to hear, that fist can soften into an open hand of caring and a longing for things to be better. Hate or care? Which energy would you rather swim in?

You can explore more feelings in the Stayin’ in Touch – Negative Emotions book if you’d like. You can play with these feelings when or wherever you like.

Image by Krzysztof Dzwonek from Pixabay