Family Dynamics
Family dynamics get interesting under any condition. When trauma happens, either within a family or to someone in the family, things can change how a family relates to itself. I’m sharing these thoughts from my perspective and the impact being raped had on my family. I can’t possibly talk about everything in the few hundred words that will make up this blog post, but here are some highlights.
When I got hurt, my parents wanted to know that their little girl was alright, that she was okay. I understand that as a parent. As a kid, though, I didn’t want any special treatment or attention. I just wanted my life to get back to normal, and special attention was not part of that picture. Because I wasn’t fully able to grasp my parents’ perspective, this caused some rift in the waters of our otherwise ‘normal’ relationship.
Fast forward a few years after the rape to when I began guest speaking about the effects of sexual abuse to a classroom full of college students. In my efforts to continue to grow my relationship with my parents, I invited them to take part or at the very least observe the class. Dad was sure I didn’t need him and elected not to come. Mom came but had a different understanding of things I shared as my personal experience. Can you spell friction? There’s just no easy way around that!
I want to share more about the ways rape has influenced my family dynamics, so I have created a downloadable PDF that has more information. Consider it an unpublished chapter of my book Invisible Wounds. (Yours for free when you sign up for my monthly newsletter.) Trauma recovery can disrupt normal family relationships in ways that may be hard to comprehend. It requires a safe place for everyone to explore their feelings and their understandings about it. One is not right and one is not wrong. Everyone’s ideas are real and valued. My perspective will not be the same as my parent’s perspective. The dynamics are just different.
Families are interesting animals. Each person in a family has a unique identity that may or may not be agreeable with one another. A mouse, after all, might have a hard time relating to a lion. This can be challenging when someone is walking a path of trauma recovery. Be mindful of yourselves and others out there!
My memoir is available in your favorite online bookstore. If you want to learn more about it, search the internet for Alexis Faere Invisible Wounds, to find a link. Here’s the Amazon link.