Let’s talk about relationship dynamics when it’s hard to trust. This applies to friends and family for sure, but I’m drawing this point more narrowly to spouse or partner relationships.

You find your ‘one.’ You tie the knot. In the beginning, it feels like you have every reason to trust that you’re going to be respected. You trust the other person to hold you dear in your most vulnerable moments. Then something happens and that ‘all-in’ trust comes into question. Maybe your definition of what it means to trust someone differs from the other person’s idea of trust. Whatever the cause and wherever you are in your trust-o-meter, trust between you and your ‘one true love’ changes and you question your choices.

Trust is something that my life experiences have colored. I turned into a trust-but-verify type of person. I’ve also learned to trust on the periphery, and then when I feel comfortable, I trust at deeper levels. This is the way it works for friends, family, and my life companion. I’m far from having it all ‘figured out,’ but my experiences are still influencing how I trust.

My inquisitive mind wonders what it must be like for my companion to ‘deal’ with my inability to just blindly trust him. That’s got to be challenging for him. My golden rule upbringing tells me I need to trust him like I want him to trust me, but I haven’t found the right recipe for that yet. (I’m still working on it, and I’m getting better at it. Thank goodness he’s patient!) Still, there is a part of me that doesn’t want to ‘inconvenience’ him with my little (and big) trusty-thingies. (Let me say thank you right now for the grace that has been present through our 31 years of marriage.)

This is just a little snapshot of my trusting brain as it pertains to my amazing spouse in the aftermath of my Invisible Wounds story. Trust talk. Trust is something we’re all born with and something that gets fractured so easily. It trickles down into every little nook and cranny of our lives. When we relate to others in our lives, trust is a sacred gift. Actions make our trust-o-meters gear up to the highest volume for how we experience trust and how it functions in our lives.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay