Definition of affection: 1) A tender feeling toward another; fondness; 2) Feeling or emotion; 3) A disposition to feel, do or say; a propensity.
What does Affection look like? I see a son shopping for groceries, to help his mother have some ‘tie overs’ to enjoy between the meals provided at her ‘senior living’ facility. I see a wife giving her husband a surprise gift. It also looks like a passion for playing the piano.
What does Affection feel like; where do you feel it in your body? I feel warmth in my belly and heart. It feels calm and loving and creates a vibration of acceptance. When someone steps outside of themselves to lend someone a hand to someone I feel cooperative and caring. It opens the door for shared joy and peace. Sometimes it feels inviting or affirming. Experiencing this feeling encourages me to speak nicely to myself. When I feel it, I want to share it with others.
Feeling Affection functions to help me be aware of the goodness in the world. When I feel it, I imagine love flowing out of my heart, freely, into the world. No need for recognition, just a wave of love to set sail in the realm of possibility. It functions to provide acceptance not only of myself but also acceptance of others. Affection fosters relationships, with people, hobbies, and with groups. When affection happens, it is shared, and this might be just the right gift for someone today.
If you’re feeling it, this is an invitation for you to explore affection today. What does affection look like to you? How does it feel to you, and/or where do you feel it in your body? Explain how it works or functions for you. What are some expressions of affection?
To me, Bother looks like someone who deliberately places their hands on their hips and fumes a big sigh of frustration or disgust. You’ve probably experienced a parent or someone gasping at you at some point in your life. It also looks like someone or something pestering you. Perhaps a child keeps asking why or while you’re sitting at your desk working, your neighbor is chomping on some carrots.
What does Bother feel like? Where do you feel it in your body? Bother feels like a wound-up spring demanding to be set free so that it can relax. In my body, it feels like tension and a hovering cloud in my chest area. It feels impatient, urgent, and distracting. It also feels irritating because someone or something has interrupted a good focus or flow. It’s like a buzzing energy that never finds a resting place.
Feeling Bothered functions to point something out to me that is outside of my normal, comfortable little world. It interrupts me. When I feel bothered, it seems like someone around me is not being as sensitive as they could be to others around them. I’m then quick to judge or jump to a mindless conclusion either about the other person or in my self-talk. I think feeling bothered could transform into a reminder to me to get ‘outside of myself’ or to be compassionate toward someone else, if I stopped to recognize it when it occurs. I could dance with that, instead of being caught up in it.
If you’re feeling it, this is an invitation for you to explore bother today. What does bother look like to you? How does it feel to you? Imagine feeling bothered and how it works for you. How might you transform it to function for you?