Alexis Faere Body Wrapper

    Life Gifts

    Tag

    relationships

    • Trust Talk

      Trust Talk

      Let’s talk about relationship dynamics when it’s hard to trust. This applies to friends and family for sure, but I’m drawing this point more narrowly to spouse or partner relationships.

      You find your ‘one.’ You tie the knot. In the beginning, it feels like you have every reason to trust that you’re going to be respected. You trust the other person to hold you dear in your most vulnerable moments. Then something happens and that ‘all-in’ trust comes into question. Maybe your definition of what it means to trust someone differs from the other person’s idea of trust. Whatever the cause and wherever you are in your trust-o-meter, trust between you and your ‘one true love’ changes and you question your choices.

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    • Coming Out of the Woodwork

      Coming Out of the Woodwork

      Now that my memoir, Invisible Wounds: An Inside Story, is published, amazing connections are coming out of the woodwork. It’s scary to write a story about the most horrific thing that happened to me. Some people I know are aware of this story, and others are not. I didn’t know how my friends and family would respond to me after sharing so vulnerably about this trauma.

      I often talk about how vulnerability is a vehicle for making deeper connections with people. People are writing and sharing their experiences with me after reading this book. That is so encouraging! The subject of kidnap and rape is a fearful topic for some. Everyone is going to react to such a story differently. It’s a vile topic and one that many people are afraid to talk about. I found, in my experience, that some people responded more favorably than others. That said, I stand firm in realizing this topic is something that needs airtime.

      Here’s the rub: it’s all good. I admire those who stay silent, find a few disagreements, and open their hearts to share, so we can celebrate our lives. It’s all real, and it’s all good. What? Even the disagreements are good? Yes, those. Each person has a right to feel what they are going to feel. It’s all part of the emotional colors that make up the canvases of our lives. I’m secure enough about who I am that disagreements can be present without affecting my big amazing.

      Thank you! For those who’ve read this book, thank you for taking the time to read this story. Thank you for finding your own words, experiences, and especially your will to grow and thrive. The amazing power of our collective human spirits is alive and well. Let’s bravely share our stories and find deeper connections with one another. I’m glad you are here.

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    • When Friendships Pause

      When Friendships Pause

      When friendships pause, this can introduce different dynamics in the relationship. Sometimes when a relationship pauses, it ends. (That’s a topic for another time.) Other times, the pause causes a suspension of sorts, but the essence of the bond remains untouched.

      When a friendship pauses, you might assume the relationship is at the end of an era. However, the truth might be far more enchanting than you realize. Think of it as a magical journey into the world of the in-between. While the friendship may not progress in a conventional sense, its foundation remains unshaken. Unread messages, missed calls, and incomplete plans all still exist, awaiting the right moment.

      Relationships Pause

      I’ve experienced this. When we graduated high school, my best friend and I went our separate ways. We each did life differently, but the essence of our relationship sat patiently in suspension until the moment came for us to reconnect. And you know what? We picked up right where we left off. Sure, we each did some growing up during our pause period, but the essence of who we were as friends never changed. I love that about our relationship. The pause was okay; we still loved each other.

      These pauses in relationships can teach us that the ebb and flow of life can affect the bonds we hold dear, but it doesn’t diminish their significance. These friendships whisper to us, “Even in the stillness, I’m here.” Sometimes, life’s responsibilities take precedence, forcing friends to venture down separate paths. Other times, distance or circumstances intervene, creating an invisible wall between two hearts. Yet, when you press the pause button, these friendships become an ethereal presence, a flicker of light in the dark corners of our memories.

      Fear not! Friendships that pause have the potential to dance back into our lives. They are the unfinished symphonies, waiting for their grand finale. When the time is right, they reawaken with a burst of color, as if the universe conspires to bring them back together.

      Rekindle Friendships

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    • Meaningful Conversations

      We have many conversations in a day, but how many of them are meaningful conversations? Stop for a moment and think about all the conversations you’ve had today. Of those conversations, how many of them were meaningful?

      Many conversations have to do with what you do or are doing, and perhaps reporting on progress, or answering questions. These are important conversations in your daily activities. How do those conversations leave you feeling, though? Do you walk away from this kind of dialog feeling somehow enriched, or does it feel more like just keeping the wheels turning? I’d venture a guess that these kinds of interactions fall in the ‘necessary’ column, but don’t quite make the cut for feeding your heart and soul.

      Now think for a moment about the last meaningful conversation you had with someone. How does that conversation feel differently? Talking about things that matter leave me feeling more fulfilled. How about you? Meaningful conversations create deeper connections with my talking partners. They invite me to think about things outside my wheelhouse, stretch my brain and heart, and nourish my desire for growth.

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    • Never Saw That Coming!

      Never Saw That Coming!

      I never saw that coming! Have you ever felt that way? It’s not a comfortable topic, but one, as human beings, we will experience at least once in our lifetime. It happens with a best friend, a spouse, and sometimes with a family member or trusted colleague.

      The amount of trust shared often governs relationships with people. There is an expectation present that the person will behave or speak to you in a certain way that is amicable for both parties. Now the tricky part. When someone in your circle of trusted people (friends, family, colleagues, or spouses) does something (action or words, or the lack thereof) that feels like a betrayal to your very core. You’re left feeling shocked, heartbroken, or at the very least disappointed.

      When this happens, the trust you experience in the relationship changes. That change is sometimes slight, but frequently is drastic.

      Okay, so it happened. There’s no denying it. It’s real. Now what do you do with it? How does it change your relationship with the other person? Again, sometimes it is a slight change, and other times it is a profound change. The hard part is integrating that experience into your historical library with the person, and now you are in a place of choice.

      The choice leads you to a point of forgiveness and second (or third) chances, or perhaps even to a point where you sever the relationship. Maybe you simply change how you relate to the person. All these big emotions, decisions, and dynamics are part of the dance that happens when you never saw that coming. We each make our own choices about how to manage it once it’s said and done. There is also a circumstantial component that plays into how you respond or react to the event in question. Oh my! This feels enormous!

      The personal power we have in a situation such as this is our choice. It is appropriate and important to understand your feelings about it. It is part of the dance. Give yourself credit for recognizing the feelings, and then remember you always have a choice to act or react in a manner that takes care of you. Sometimes ‘I never saw that coming’ is an invitation for us to examine what is useful in our lives. Maybe it even provides an opportunity for growth. That’s a good thing, even though it might seem like the crux of a tidal wave.

      Did you see this coming? (She smiles encouragingly.)

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    • Planet SARK

      Unchained Writer

    • What Happened to My House

      What Happened to My House

      Camping in the springtime is full of wonders. Trees are displaying unspeakable numbers of new shades of green as they awaken from their long winter naps. Flowers are budding; delivering a nice canvas of fragrant color in any little splotch of earth transforming into any manner of identity. And my goodness, birds get busy preparing a houses in which to nurture new life into the cosmos.

      Today, the atmosphere stirred up a nice little afternoon cloudiness which was sure to yield some rain. In the spirit of preparedness, we moved our fire-side chairs into our enclosed porch to keep our outdoor furnishings dry.

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    • Story People

      Marcy Pusey

    • Oxibug