Calm Your Mind.
Calm. The word conjures up images of relaxing in a hammock, unplugging from the world, or maybe listening to nature or some relaxing music. It is amazing how simply focusing on the word can immediately slow my pace and open up opportunities to feel calm. I don’t know about you, but I enjoy feeling calm.
When I feel calm, my heartbeat slows, tense muscles loosen, and breathing invites tranquility. For lack of a better word, it creates a Zen state. I imagine my cells and atoms gathering in a peace-full energy. Doesn’t that feel nice?
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That memoir of mine is getting close to being finished. It’s looking like the middle of May is going to be the sweet spot! I’ll keep you posted! In the meantime, how about another brief excerpt?
This excerpt is from a chapter on vulnerability. (She recognized her vulnerability and realized it would be okay.) Please realize I’m sharing these words with you ahead of my book publication. Copyright protects this content.
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
The moral right of the author has been asserted.Vulnerability is something we all have in our lives, regardless of living with traumatic experiences. It is intensely harmful when someone chooses not to see another person’s vulnerability and capitalizes on it or takes advantage of it. I can’t control what another person is going to do, but I can be conscious about how vulnerable I allow myself to be in any setting; socially, at home, or with friends and family.
I like to give my vulnerability a voice so I can learn from it. It often has some interesting lessons for me to learn. These golden nuggets offer a wealth of information and giving it a new look has helped me find a larger confidence in myself I never knew I had.When I’m open and vulnerable with loved ones, it brings us closer together. How magical is that? My vulnerability allows other people to see the delicate, human part of me. When they see mine, they are often willing to share their vulnerability with me, and it just deepens the whole relationship experience. It is a hard thing to do, but taking baby steps with it can uncover some big life magic.
Stay tuned!
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When was the last time you recognized feeling delighted? I’ll share more about my delighted feelings momentarily. Have you ever wondered about the subtle difference between delight and happiness? There is a subtle difference between the two. You may ask, “Alexis, why does it even matter?”
First, the difference between delight and happiness. Delight has more to do with pleasure or satisfaction about a specific event or achievement. Happiness is a broader, more enduring state of well-being and contentment that doesn’t rely on any specific moment or event. I’m delighted about the very secretive anniversary plans my husband set into motion to celebrate our anniversary. (“What is he up to now?” she asked, filled with anticipation.) I feel happiness about the longevity and adventure of our marriage.
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It matters what you think! No, I’m not talking about what others think about you. Instead, I’m talking about the power of our minds and what we think about. You may have heard this notion: what you think about comes about. Our minds are one of our most available and powerful resources. Let’s dig in.
I was just listening to the Daily Jay (Jay Shetty) on the Calm application, and he was talking about should versus could. He discussed how asking what we should do engages our brains to rely on what we’ve already learned or experienced. This leads us to choices based on that. However, when we shift that to what we could do, our brains open up to a vast array of other possibilities. I never thought about that before, but it makes sense to me.
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There are Benefits of Enthusiasm.
Are you enthused? (She giggled as she put her thoughts together about feeling enthusiasm.) Enthusiasm helps me feel alert and full of energy. Do you suppose our bodies actually support this feeling with good chemicals when we feel it? I think it does! The National Library of Medicine thinks it does.
When I’m enthused about something, it’s hard to feel stressed. Have you ever noticed when your enthusiasm ramps up, your stress lowers? Hmm. There might be something to this. Try this: Think about something you’re enthused about and pay attention to what happens to your immediate outlook. How does it change? That’s a fun game! Goodbye stress, and welcome on in here positive energy!
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I’m just a person navigating this world. I post a lot of information about emotions, about ways of thinking, and I’m even dabbling in some insights about intentional living. What are my credentials (you might ask)?
Some people believe that thoughts and ideas need a paper credential to support their validity. Sometimes that is very true. However, I think there is a life credential that sometimes gets overlooked. There is deep value in life experience, and I don’t know of any formal credentials for that. I ask you though, does your life experience teach you? I’m taking a guess here, but I think your experiences have taught you valuable lessons about how to behave, how to stay safe, and maybe even how to care for yourself. My experience has taught me things, too.
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Hello fondness. Thanks for dropping in for a visit. I’m fond of my retirement life, and it’s nice to look upon my day with your presence.
Do recognize when you feel fond of something? Perhaps You’re fond of someone’s creativity to make something out of ordinary things. Do you ever feel fond of someone? Maybe you find yourself feeling fond of your heaters when it’s cold outside.
When I feel fond, I sense a warmness in my heart, and I can feel the corners of my face turning upward into a smile. Writing about fondness is a little challenging because it’s one of those feelings that happens without much notice. It’s worth noticing though. Being aware of fondness highlights things I’m not so fond of. Isn’t it interesting how being aware of something’s opposite can enrich our awareness about it?
What happens when you recall a memory and find yourself feeling fond of it? It’s more colorful and vivid. Fondness immerses us into the experience in our memory and encodes information about a memory that makes it easier to recall.
How about our decision making? Fondness can subtly influence how we make decisions in ways we might not realize. When we’re fond of someone, we might unconsciously prioritize their preferences of opinions. What an amazing thing to realize in any context. In a corporate context, how does this impact your decisions? Hmmm. I certainly did this in my career days (probably more often than I might care to admit).
When we are fond of something in our lives, it probably influences the choices and actions we take. If I want more calm in the chaos around me, I’m inclined to feel fond of feeling calm and lean toward choices that will amplify that calm. Never thought about that one before.
Hello fondness. Thank you for coming to visit. I appreciate getting to know you a little better!
Emotions fill our cells with energy…
If you would like to explore more feelings in the Stayin’ in Touch – Positive Emotions book, click here for more information.
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Hope: The Antidote to Anxiety and Doubt
Ah yes, hope. I hope this message finds you well. Oh, I hope I did well enough to pass the test this time. In my wildest dreams, I hope I get to go to Santorini, Greece one day. I hope everything goes okay during the surgery. I hope someday things won’t feel as awful as they do right now. Does any of this sound familiar? I’m playing in a puddle of hope today, to see what I can learn about this feeling.
The context of hope sometimes has more to do with yearning or anticipation. The hope I’m exploring today is the resolute feeling in my heart that feels peaceful or trusting in a desired outcome. It is anticipation free from anxiety or doubt. Of course, there is an element of yearning in any form of hope, but I like to think of it from a glass-half-full perspective.
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Is it right or different? When I’m working with others, an interesting dialog happens in my head. (She hangs her head as she realizes how quick she is to judge.) “You have to do it this way.” “Just do it right.” “Why do you walk all the way around there when you can get there quicker going this way?” Sound familiar?
There’s right and wrong, for sure. Is it possible, though, that there’s right and different? When I think back on corporate frustrations, one that pops readily to the surface has everything to do with the judge and jury in my head. It was easy for me to get caught up in ‘my way is the only way’ to do something. Do you ever find yourself in this spot? The presence of mind to realize different is okay, often diffuses the drama of someone ‘not doing something right.’
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Happy New Year and here’s to new intentions for making life what we want it to be in 2024! So, do you set some resolutions? I go for intentions just because I’m weird that way. There’s something about setting an intention that feels like spending my energy creating what I want in life.
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In the spirit of closing this year and bubbling with excitement about the new one fast approaching, I’m playing with what grateful feels like. First, let me express my gratitude to each one of you for playing with me in these little missives about life and our feelings. Thank you! Big hugs to each one of you, all around!
When I feel grateful, my heart warms. Have you experienced that? When I’m feeling grumpy, finding different ways to show gratitude helps me feel warmly aware. (She found a yummy, special sauce to include in her recipes for intentional living.) Did you know that expressing gratitude helps you sleep better? I didn’t know that! It makes sense, though.
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Life Gifts
- I send you delicious moments to remove clutter from your life.
- Sending you warmth and caring.
- I send you focus and energy as you write today.
- I send you soothing cups of hot tea, your favorite music to listen to and time for you to relax and enjoy.
- I send you glorious freedom to move your body and experience joy.
- I send you joy as I think about how delightful you are.
- I send you revolving hours of joy for writing about what you want to write about.
- I send you light to illuminate the places inside you that seem dark.
- I send you chortles, giggles and warm hugs.
- I send you warm nourishing rays of light.
- I send you moments to fill your year with acknowledgment of how truly special you are in this world.
- I send you showers of grace and peace.
- I send you calm, to remember love and caring.
- I send you showers of strength as you walk your journey.
- I send you gentle care and comfort, and I hold your heart with love in mine.
- Sending you flashlights for exploring your dark places.
- I send you patience and understanding, and a powerful little elf to manage all your worries.
- I send you healing energy as you mend your heart and body.
- I send you permission to be exactly how you are today.
- I send you joy.
- I send you delicious caring and big love.
- Sending you quiet mornings to savor nature and listen to the musings of your heart.
- I send you healing, detoxifying energy as your body benefits and heals from your weekend massage.
- I send you fresh, crisp apple bites of life to bite into everyday.
- I send you warm, comfortable rest.
- I send you over-flowing cups of love to restore your heart and soul.
- Sending you buckets of patience to spill in all the places that need some—be sure to douse yourself with some.
- I send you virtual blankets to keep you warm, and good thoughts that your electricity is soon restored.
- I send you soothing healing.
- I send you contagious child-like giggles and unstoppable smiles.
- I send you a path of petals on which to tread as you navigate life.
- I send you buckets of smiles to share with everyone you meet.
- I send you life rafts for navigating the waters of life.
- I send you calm and gentle breezes wafting love and joy around you.
- Sending you the best of birthday wishes and some special binoculars for you to see all the puddles of goodness that follow you around and support you.
- I send you warm blankets to snuggle with as you sip warm tea and warm up your cold body.
- Sending you pillows of prosperity to share with yourself and others.
- I send you wide open spaces big enough for all your dreams to materialize.
- I send you bright-colored flowers that fragrantly shower your surroundings with joy and delight.
- Sending you willing, loving hearts and hands to help you.
- Sending you nourishing rest and mindful body care.
- I send you different flavored lollipops to quench your craving.
- I send you comfy pillows to cradle you in love and comfort.
- I send you fireworks of inspiration.
- I send you large bundles of gratitude for being who you are, and for being connected with me.
