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Where’s Mom and Dad when I want them? And why can’t they give me what I’m looking for? When I was in the throes of trauma recovery, I had an image in my mind about the support I was looking for from my parents. (Note: I was a teenager.) It seemed when I opened doors for them to step through (on my terms), one of them invariably slammed the door smack dab in my face. Ouch!Meeting people where they are is probably one of the simplest and most genuine things you can do in any type of relationship. We’ve all had conversations with people that don’t get us. They aren’t the most moving conversations in the world, and I, for one, walk away feeling unheard, unrecognized, and completely misunderstood.
Think about your friends and family. There are those you feel closer to than others. Now, think about the ones you feel closer to. Why do you feel closer to them? Is it because it’s their way or the highway? I think not. When someone does not see or hear you, it feels less intimate. It feels disconnected and, on some level, it feels like what’s going on with me doesn’t matter (unheard, unrecognized, misunderstood).
How about this? When I converse with someone who sees and hears me, I feel a greater connection with them. It feels closer. I feel like they are meeting me where I am. Their beliefs or ideas about topics may be drastically different from mine, and that’s okay. When they are with me and my thoughts, without pushing their own, I feel heard and understood. Doesn’t that feel great? I’m more apt to share what’s really going on inside when this door is open.

On the flip side, when I listen to them, if they are sharing something that is outside my wheelhouse, allowing them to have their belief, however different it is from mine, creates a deeper connection. There’s no need for them to be in my space in order for us to relate to each other. I like them; I like who they are, and it’s okay for them to do themselves.
There are as many beliefs about things as there are people in this world. Because we are each unique individuals, isn’t it okay for me to meet you where you are, and for you to meet me where I am? Can we be friends, colleagues, or family and have these differences? Maybe there’s something to this idea of meeting people where they are. Shall we play with it a little?
Continue ReadingOne way I invite creativity into my life is to consider things backwards or upside down. Okay, Alexis – what do you mean by that?
Step into my fantasy for a moment. You’re in a movie theater waiting for the movie to begin. As you observe other patrons arriving for the feature, you notice they are all walking backwards toward their seats. They don’t need to turn their heads funny; they know exactly where to go, like they have eyes in the back of their heads. The popcorn popper is upside down and the popped corn floats to the top instead of settling into the bottom of the popper.
What just happened in your mind? Did any of these images stir new points to ponder? Those movie goers, once settled into their seats, the chairs turn upside down and they are all watching the screen upside down. Or, perhaps the picture on the screen is running backwards from the end to the beginning. How would your movie experience be different?
When our boys were younger, we used to play this game to stretch our imaginations. Think about what we would look like and how our clothes are different if our arms are where our ears are and our noses are where our belly buttons are perfectly situated. Now there are some creative ideas for new clothing. (She laughs out loud!)
The next time you’re stuck on a problem, give it a whirl. Step outside of what you think of a normal solution, and try a little backward and upside-down thinking. See what pops into your head when you try something un-ordinary. You have permission to experiment with crazy-silly ideas. Be bold enough to put your shirt on inside out or wear two different shoes or socks.
I bet you have some fun stories to share about upside down and backwards. My fantastical mind awaits your amazing ideas!
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Life Gifts
- Sending you loving hands to cradle your tender heart.
- I send you showers of grace and peace.
- I send you buckets of bubbling, juicy kindness.
- I send you fireworks of inspiration.
- Sending you oodles of energy noodles.
- I send you music to make your insides dance.
- I send you delicious caring and big love.
- Sending you sparkly confetti in celebration of your accomplishments today.
- I send you fresh strawberries to enjoy in a mild, sunny meadow upon a lush spring mountain.
- Sending you giggles.
- I send you comfy pillows to cradle you in love and comfort.
- I send you permission to be exactly how you are today.
- Sending you willing, loving hearts and hands to help you.
- I send you chortles, giggles, and warm hugs.
- I send you delightful whimsey, goodness over flowing, and creative deliciousness today.
- I send you light to illuminate the places inside you that seem dark.
- I send you fresh, crisp apple bites of life to bite into everyday.
- I send you relaxing moments filled with love and caring.
- I send you a warm hand to hold as you experience the array of feelings that go along with the death of your loved one.
- Sending you a perfect worry doll to manage your worries.
- I send you focus and energy as you write today.
- I send you a cuddly blanket of appreciation for the beautiful person you are in this world.
- Sending you calm to scatter around the chaos.
- I send you courage and honor.
- Sending you magical lenses to sharpen your focus.
- I send you revolving hours of joy for writing about what you want to write about.
- I send you clocks that indicate there is plenty of time.
- I send you pregnant pauses to remember how much you are loved and cared for.
- I send you buckets of smiles to share with everyone you meet.
- Sending you a bubble full of love and healing, to hold you and your heart.
- I send you over-flowing cups of love to restore your heart and soul.
- Sending you buckets of patience to spill in all the places that need some—be sure to douse yourself with some.
- I send you contagious child-like giggles and unstoppable smiles.
- I send you bright flowers to see, smell, enjoy, and nurture.
- I send you the lightest hint of lilac and a handful of petals.
- I send you showers of confetti filled with sparkling, renewing energy to keep you fresh and succulent.
- Sending you flashlights for exploring your dark places.
- I send you joy.
- I send you honor and respect as you navigate this wave in your life.
- I send you large bundles of gratitude for being who you are, and for being connected with me.
- Sending you joy and glee in celebration of your accomplishment.
- I send you quiet fields of lavender to enjoy soft, quiet moments.
- Sending you peace and beauty, like the glassy stillness of a lake before the breeze’s caress stirs things up.
- I send you patience and understanding, and a powerful little elf to manage all your worries.
- I send you giggles and chortles to accent all the moments of your day.
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