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When friendships pause, this can introduce different dynamics in the relationship. Sometimes when a relationship pauses, it ends. (That’s a topic for another time.) Other times, the pause causes a suspension of sorts, but the essence of the bond remains untouched.
When a friendship pauses, you might assume the relationship is at the end of an era. However, the truth might be far more enchanting than you realize. Think of it as a magical journey into the world of the in-between. While the friendship may not progress in a conventional sense, its foundation remains unshaken. Unread messages, missed calls, and incomplete plans all still exist, awaiting the right moment.
I’ve experienced this. When we graduated high school, my best friend and I went our separate ways. We each did life differently, but the essence of our relationship sat patiently in suspension until the moment came for us to reconnect. And you know what? We picked up right where we left off. Sure, we each did some growing up during our pause period, but the essence of who we were as friends never changed. I love that about our relationship. The pause was okay; we still loved each other.
These pauses in relationships can teach us that the ebb and flow of life can affect the bonds we hold dear, but it doesn’t diminish their significance. These friendships whisper to us, “Even in the stillness, I’m here.” Sometimes, life’s responsibilities take precedence, forcing friends to venture down separate paths. Other times, distance or circumstances intervene, creating an invisible wall between two hearts. Yet, when you press the pause button, these friendships become an ethereal presence, a flicker of light in the dark corners of our memories.
Fear not! Friendships that pause have the potential to dance back into our lives. They are the unfinished symphonies, waiting for their grand finale. When the time is right, they reawaken with a burst of color, as if the universe conspires to bring them back together.
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Look around your spaces and observe your life talismans. You know, those little things you hang on to that remind you about family history, experiences you’ve had in your life, each one tells a story. As I get older, I’m finding reminders that I no longer need to keep, and others that are still warm memories about people.
Yeah, we all do it. We collect little things about the stories in our lives. Then, as we approach the ‘home stretch’ of our lives, the talismans filling our spaces become someone else’s treasure, or they find their home in a rubbish pile. What are some unique talismans you enjoy, and what’s their story?
My Grandmother sheltered a Jewish family during World War II. They shared a set of silver place settings as gratitude for her generous gift. I have a fork from that set and when my eyes gaze upon it, my heart imagines the stories of how the fork came into my possession. I don’t know all the stories, but the smaller story it represents is all about how we take care of each other.
Oh, then there’s a pair of children’s dress shoes that my older sister wore when she was quite young. My older sister died many years ago, but her little shoes remind me of the joyous gift she continues to be to me these many years later. Her little feet went places in those shoes. I was not there; I wasn’t even a gleam in my parent’s eye yet, but my sister had life in those shoes. Seems silly, I know, but those shoes keep my connection to my big sis somehow.
I came upon a shackle once upon a time that surely bound a slave once upon a time. Long before I appeared on this earth, I experience an unexplainable connection to the countless lives that were touched by such a cruel thing. I wonder about their stories, what made their hearts full of love, and the horrific drama they surely endured. I keep the talisman to remember how indelibly connected we are, and there are lives impacted by experiences we can only imagine.
Well, there are countless other little things I’ve collected through the years. As I share these talismans with others by human connection or by rubbish, these are little representations of stories that made my life what it is. Life is an interesting experiment, isn’t it?
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Two years now into my retirement, I’m learning something about passions and work life. For most of my time in the corporate working world, I liked my job, but it was always a leap away from what my heart yearned to do. Now that I’m retired, I’m completely living my dream and experiencing happiness that I never realized while I was working. My inquiring mind steps in to explore what that’s all about.
There are people in this world who are fortunate enough to be in this place during their earning years. And there are a good many of us who set our passions aside in favor of having a place to live, eat, and clothes to wear because our passions don’t quite pay the bills. I honor those of you who have found the sweet spot between your earnings and your passion. During my earning years, I didn’t know how to do that. I was so afraid to give it time to seed and grow that I paid the bills and back-burned my passions.
I experimented with weaving my passions creatively into my work life, but it was never the same. During the 40+ hours a week I spent working, I put my heart and soul into it. Now though, in my ‘happy place’ and retired after 44 years in the workforce, living my dream, I wonder how to help people get here sooner than I did. I’m sure there are countless people in the world wondering about the same thing, perhaps from different perspectives.
I wanted to put a spotlight on this for those of you who are still in the ‘earning’ part of your lives. If you are a person who wants to learn from experience, hear this: never abandon your heart! I’m inviting you to be sure there is a balance between living comfortably and living from your soul. The peace that comes from that is indescribable! May your passions live comfortably with your work – this is my wish for you!
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In my garden, I discover a simple marvel—a ladybug, a tiny globe of vivid red and spots as dark as midnight. It meanders among the leaves and petals as if on an important mission. What’s it looking for? What’s it thinking? It’s hard not to marvel at the sheer intent it shows in its explorations. Every movement appears calculated, its curiosity boundless. It seems so driven, as if there’s a grand quest in that tiny mind.
When the ladybug delicately crawls onto my finger, the sensation is indescribable—like a feather’s kiss or a soft sigh against my skin. It roves across the landscape of my palm and fingers, and I can’t help but wonder what’s going through its little head. Does my skin feel like mountains and valleys to it? Am I its latest adventure? The simple, yet intimate connection fills me with an inexplicable warmth, a tinge of happiness that emanates from deep within.
And just as suddenly, it’s time to say goodbye. The ladybug stretches open its surprising, transparent wings. They glint in the sunlight, casting miniature rainbows as they flutter. Then, with a zest that catches me off guard, it soars away, as if pulled by an invisible thread of destiny. The suddenness of its departure leaves me both awestruck and a tiny bit lonely.
This simple interaction leaves me brimming with a complex blend of emotions—awe, happiness, a touch of melancholy, but mostly an overwhelming sense of peace and contentment. The ladybug’s life is so uncomplicated, yet so full of purpose and zest. What are its dreams? What desires fuel its ceaseless wanderings? I may never know, but that only adds to the sense of wonder and mystery that surrounds this tiny creature.
The ladybug, in all its simplicity, teaches me to appreciate the small wonders that life has to offer. It fills me with a sense of magical realism, a feeling that maybe, just maybe, the simplest things are the keys to the grandest emotions. Every time I see a ladybug now, my heart swells with a kaleidoscope of emotions, each hue as beautiful and complex as the creature that inspired them.
Jerome Grey, contributing author
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Life Gifts
- I send you moments of pause so that you can remember you are loved and cared for.
- I send you delicious caring and big love.
- I send you contagious child-like giggles and unstoppable smiles.
- I send you soothing cups of hot tea, your favorite music to listen to and time for you to relax and enjoy.
- I send you relaxing moments filled with love and caring.
- I send you focus as you practice setting up new routines to support your engagement with your true self.
- Sending you giggles.
- Sending you patience while your body heals.
- Sending you giant pails of peace to spill or splash in.
- Sending you calm to scatter around the chaos.
- I send you comfort, joy and sustenance through your retirement.
- I send you quiet fields of lavender to enjoy soft, quiet moments.
- Sending you buckets of patience to spill in all the places that need some—be sure to douse yourself with some.
- Sending you a bubble full of love and healing, to hold you and your heart.
- Sending you bursts of energy and focus.
- I send you showers of strength as you walk your journey.
- I send you comfy pillows to cradle you in love and comfort.
- I send you joy.
- I send you chortles, giggles and warm hugs.
- I send you a warm hand to hold as you experience the array of feelings that go along with the death of your loved one.
- I send you clocks that indicate there is plenty of time.
- I send you a path of petals on which to tread as you navigate life.
- I send you chortles, giggles, and warm hugs.
- Sending you a luxury craft to drift in a while you regroup.
- I send you joy as I think about how delightful you are.
- I send you fresh, crisp apple bites of life to bite into everyday.
- I send you tender, loving arms to hold you in care and love.
- Sending you warmth and caring.
- I send you the lightest hint of lilac and a handful of petals.
- Sending you blankets of love to help you feel safe.
- I send you wide open spaces big enough for all your dreams to materialize.
- I send you calm, to remember love and caring.
- I send you fireworks of inspiration.
- Sending you oodles of energy noodles.
- Sending you nourishing soup for your soul.
- I send you focus and energy as you write today.
- I send you warm, comfortable rest.
- I send you pregnant pauses to remember how much you are loved and cared for.
- I send you life rafts for navigating the waters of life.
- Sending you tasty inspiration.
- I send you peaces to resolve the conflicts you’re experiencing right now.
- I send you lush green mountain meadows splattered with wildflowers for you to rest and rejuvenate your soul.
- I send you delicious moments filled with rare and marvelous accents that grow your heart.
- I send you warm nourishing rays of light.
- I send you virtual blankets to keep you warm, and good thoughts that your electricity is soon restored.
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