What makes your soul dance? Have you ever watched a movie that reached into the depths of your soul to a point of tears, and you let the tears flow without reservation? When our souls move and we feel; these are wonderfully deep and authentic emotions. What is it about connecting with our soul so deeply that it makes us spontaneously feel?
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Do you feel shame?
Emotions can be teachers for us to stay true to who we are or who we want to be. Think for a moment about the last time you felt shame. Where does that feeling come from? Did you think or believe that if you hid, your shame would disappear and no one would notice? Maybe you felt like you were flawed.
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Where’s Mom and Dad when I want them? And why can’t they give me what I’m looking for? When I was in the throes of trauma recovery, I had an image in my mind about the support I was looking for from my parents. (Note: I was a teenager.) It seemed when I opened doors for them to step through (on my terms), one of them invariably slammed the door smack dab in my face. Ouch! -
Do you feel troubled?
Have you ever felt restless for seemingly no reason at all? This could be a sign that you feel more troubled about something than you realize. Sneaky little feeling, troubled. This little feeling (or not so small feeling) can be full of little gifts for us if we can give ourselves a moment to explore more about it.
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Mood swings and trauma recovery are a real thing. Sometimes the world seems as right as rain. Then there are those times when our internal world struggles to make a smile come out. Kind, supportive thoughts seem elusive. This is a natural momentum. Emotions feel like they are swinging up and down. Have you ever experienced that?
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I’m feeling uncertain about this (or that). Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Whether we perceive it as positive or negative, uncertainty could be a generous gift. I’m exploring negative emotions right now, so I’m diving into this one from that perspective.
We are each unique in our approach to life and the subtle (or not-so-subtle) nuances of emotions that color our lives. You might feel comfortable with a higher volume of uncertainty in your life than others. I don’t mind some uncertainty, especially when trying out new things and seeing how they influence everything else. Raise the stakes though, and the uncertainty becomes overwhelming, with a generous helping of fear on the side. Case and point: writing a memoir and publishing it. (Eeegadz, did I just do that?) That was scary with a capital S. There’s some uncertainty!
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Family dynamics get interesting under any condition. When trauma happens, either within a family or to someone in the family, things can change how a family relates to itself. I’m sharing these thoughts from my perspective and the impact being raped had on my family. I can’t possibly talk about everything in the few hundred words that will make up this blog post, but here are some highlights.
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Let’s talk about relationship dynamics when it’s hard to trust. This applies to friends and family for sure, but I’m drawing this point more narrowly to spouse or partner relationships.
You find your ‘one.’ You tie the knot. In the beginning, it feels like you have every reason to trust that you’re going to be respected. You trust the other person to hold you dear in your most vulnerable moments. Then something happens and that ‘all-in’ trust comes into question. Maybe your definition of what it means to trust someone differs from the other person’s idea of trust. Whatever the cause and wherever you are in your trust-o-meter, trust between you and your ‘one true love’ changes and you question your choices.
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We’ve all seen people in a volatile state. Scary, I know! Truth is, we all feel it but sometimes don’t recognize it until after the fact. It appears when we experience rapid or unexpected change (like when the Japanese stock market dropped). Or, sometimes it comes on suddenly in an explosive reaction to something (case and point when you just lose it). I seem to experience it most profoundly as an explosive reaction. I rarely realize it until I see someone else’s shocked face or there’s an air of ‘give her some space’ in the immediate area.
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There’s physical weakness and there’s feeling emotionally weak. You guessed it, I’m talking about emotionally feeling weak. I’m in that club of people who feel like I need to be strong all the time. However, I learning to embrace my perceived weaknesses in a way that emphasizes my strengths. Oh boy. Here we go!
First, let me say that feeling weak from time to time doesn’t define you as a weak person. (Note to self.) Perhaps it is an invitation to deepen a relationship by reaching out for a hand to hold, or a shoulder to cry on. Or maybe it’s an opportunity for me to let the walls fall away and be present in the moment. As corny as it sounds, feeling weak can also be a strength, especially when we can see it, name it, and feel it. When I see it, it helps me figure out the best way to deal with it. Maybe that means taking a nap, going for a walk, or simply holding myself tenderly for a moment.
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What in the world is xenophobic? I know. An emotion word that starts with x. There are so few of them, but this one is real, too. Yes, I’m aware, I’m still exploring negative emotions, but this one is worth understanding a little better. First, let’s start with a definition of what that means.
Merriam-Webster defines xenophobia as having fear and hatred towards strangers, foreigners, or anything unfamiliar. This certainly has a context as it applies to prejudice and racism. (I found a good article about that here.) I believe, though, that it also has appropriate application as it pertains to our fear of different emotions.
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Life Gifts
- Sending you giant pails of peace to spill or splash in.
- I send you clocks that indicate there is plenty of time.
- I send you gentle care and comfort, and I hold your heart with love in mine.
- I send you flexibility to allow your writing dream to come to life as you live it.
- I send you peaces to resolve the conflicts you’re experiencing right now.
- I send you comfort, joy and sustenance through your retirement.
- I send you lush green mountain meadows splattered with wildflowers for you to rest and rejuvenate your soul.
- I send you tender, loving arms to hold you in care and love.
- I send you a warm, snuggly kitty to comfort your soul and remind you about the power of love.
- I send you healing love and energy.
- Sending you oodles of energy noodles.
- Sending you giggles.
- I send you courage and honor.
- Sending you bursts of energy and focus.
- I send you love.
- I send you soothing cups of hot tea, your favorite music to listen to and time for you to relax and enjoy.
- I send you bright flowers to see, smell, enjoy, and nurture.
- I send you permission to be exactly how you are today.
- Sending you friendship to warm your heart and knowledge that you’re loved.
- Sending you pillows of prosperity to share with yourself and others.
- I send you warm blankets to snuggle with as you sip warm tea and warm up your cold body.
- I send you honor and respect as you navigate this wave in your life.
- I send you showers of grace and peace.
- I send you buckets of smiles to share with everyone you meet.
- I send you calm, to remember love and caring.
- I send you joy as I think about how delightful you are.
- I send you fruit-full surprises in your journey.
- I send you succulent sweet chocolate kisses and delightfully warm hugs.
- I send you revolving hours of joy for writing about what you want to write about.
- Sending you music to fill your heart with warmth and comfort.
- Sending you calm and peace.
- I send you light energy to charge your healthy cells and create health.
- I send you whimsical moments that make you giggle out loud, whether or not you’re around people.
- I send you delightful whimsey, goodness over flowing, and creative deliciousness today.
- Sending you tasty inspiration.
- I send you fresh strawberries to enjoy in a mild, sunny meadow upon a lush spring mountain.
- Sending you love and caring.
- I send you over-flowing cups of love to restore your heart and soul.
- Sending you buckets of patience to spill in all the places that need some—be sure to douse yourself with some.
- I send you large bundles of gratitude for being who you are, and for being connected with me.
- Sending you joy.
- I send you focus as you practice setting up new routines to support your engagement with your true self.
- I send you showers of confetti filled with sparkling, renewing energy to keep you fresh and succulent.
- I send you showers of strength as you walk your journey.
- I send you quiet fields of lavender to enjoy soft, quiet moments.
