Do you feel shame?
Emotions can be teachers for us to stay true to who we are or who we want to be. Think for a moment about the last time you felt shame. Where does that feeling come from? Did you think or believe that if you hid, your shame would disappear and no one would notice? Maybe you felt like you were flawed.
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Do you feel troubled?
Have you ever felt restless for seemingly no reason at all? This could be a sign that you feel more troubled about something than you realize. Sneaky little feeling, troubled. This little feeling (or not so small feeling) can be full of little gifts for us if we can give ourselves a moment to explore more about it.
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Mood swings and trauma recovery are a real thing. Sometimes the world seems as right as rain. Then there are those times when our internal world struggles to make a smile come out. Kind, supportive thoughts seem elusive. This is a natural momentum. Emotions feel like they are swinging up and down. Have you ever experienced that?
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I’m feeling uncertain about this (or that). Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Whether we perceive it as positive or negative, uncertainty could be a generous gift. I’m exploring negative emotions right now, so I’m diving into this one from that perspective.
We are each unique in our approach to life and the subtle (or not-so-subtle) nuances of emotions that color our lives. You might feel comfortable with a higher volume of uncertainty in your life than others. I don’t mind some uncertainty, especially when trying out new things and seeing how they influence everything else. Raise the stakes though, and the uncertainty becomes overwhelming, with a generous helping of fear on the side. Case and point: writing a memoir and publishing it. (Eeegadz, did I just do that?) That was scary with a capital S. There’s some uncertainty!
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We’ve all seen people in a volatile state. Scary, I know! Truth is, we all feel it but sometimes don’t recognize it until after the fact. It appears when we experience rapid or unexpected change (like when the Japanese stock market dropped). Or, sometimes it comes on suddenly in an explosive reaction to something (case and point when you just lose it). I seem to experience it most profoundly as an explosive reaction. I rarely realize it until I see someone else’s shocked face or there’s an air of ‘give her some space’ in the immediate area.
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There’s physical weakness and there’s feeling emotionally weak. You guessed it, I’m talking about emotionally feeling weak. I’m in that club of people who feel like I need to be strong all the time. However, I learning to embrace my perceived weaknesses in a way that emphasizes my strengths. Oh boy. Here we go!
First, let me say that feeling weak from time to time doesn’t define you as a weak person. (Note to self.) Perhaps it is an invitation to deepen a relationship by reaching out for a hand to hold, or a shoulder to cry on. Or maybe it’s an opportunity for me to let the walls fall away and be present in the moment. As corny as it sounds, feeling weak can also be a strength, especially when we can see it, name it, and feel it. When I see it, it helps me figure out the best way to deal with it. Maybe that means taking a nap, going for a walk, or simply holding myself tenderly for a moment.
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What in the world is xenophobic? I know. An emotion word that starts with x. There are so few of them, but this one is real, too. Yes, I’m aware, I’m still exploring negative emotions, but this one is worth understanding a little better. First, let’s start with a definition of what that means.
Merriam-Webster defines xenophobia as having fear and hatred towards strangers, foreigners, or anything unfamiliar. This certainly has a context as it applies to prejudice and racism. (I found a good article about that here.) I believe, though, that it also has appropriate application as it pertains to our fear of different emotions.
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In the scope of emotions, what on earth does yobbish mean? The classic definition states it this way: rude, noisy, and sometimes aggressive or violent. Doesn’t sound so much like a cheerful topic, but one worthy of more understanding.
I don’t go around looking for this emotion, but it surfaces sometimes when I least expect it. Knowing what it means, it’s easier to see in others than in myself. When I feel yobbish, the energy feels like I’m screaming from the inside out. The root of feeling rude, noisy, or even aggressive leads me to act without thought or courtesy of what’s going on around me. It can be very consuming and blinding. That’s where it becomes destructive.
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What does it mean to feel like a zombie and what does that have to do with negative emotions? Starting with Z and working my way to A, I’m going to be exploring some negative emotions for a bit. I promise it won’t last forever, but I’m going to do this for myself just to get better acquainted with the different colors of emotions that I feel. Perhaps my exploration will open some ideas and doors for you as well. The next batch, after the negative emotions, will be peaceful emotions. Woo hoo! (Something to look forward to, for sure!)
Okay, back to the idea of feeling zombie-esque. Sometimes when I take part in activities that I feel like I have to do, the concept of enjoying my life eludes me. That triggers my zombie feelings. Why is it so dad gum easy to fall into that trap and forget about the joy that drove you to do things in the first place? I found an interesting article about that from The Guardian.
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Accepted is not only an emotion about feeling included within a group of people, but it is also about feeling resolute about yourself and who you are—warts and all. As I get familiar with my emotions, I’m exploring the latter right now. When I accept myself, I find it easier to absorb feeling accepted by a group outside of myself.
Picture a warmly received gift, and that’s what feeling accepted looks like to me. I imagine how the earth receives anything that falls upon it. This might be a leaf or a twig that has loosened from a tree branch, or it might be a gum wrapper that gently escaped someone’s grasp. Gravity aside, the earth accepts whatever falls upon it. Some of what falls to the earth is more nourishing than others. The same is true for humans. Our bodies take whatever we give them, and some things are more useful than others.
I feel acceptance in my whole body; my heart warms and my soul lightens. Where do you feel accepted in your body? This is an idea I’ve not explored much until now. Truth be told, I’m finding it hard to wrap words around it to describe it. It’s interesting to play with the idea and get better acquainted with it. My challenge with this exercise reveals an uncertainty that feels uncomfortable. Hmmm.
Acceptance is an emotion that facilitates personal grace. When I think about confident people, I sense they accept their complete selves. It is hard sometimes to accept our personal truths. For example, when I carry more weight than I’d like, I struggle with self-acceptance. The cold ugly truth! I’m reaping that which I’ve sown and loving this extra part of me proves challenging. Loving my warts is hard sometimes, but I choose to give it a whirl. I have much to learn!
This is a fascinating emotion. (She breathes in acceptance and lets go of judgment.) I accept you, who you are, and all the ways being you which facilitate your uniqueness.
In the sea of all her emotions, she finds acceptance…
Explore more feelings in the Stayin’ in Touch – Positive Emotions book. You can play with them when or wherever you like.
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I’m jumping into bliss today. Yes, extreme happiness is worth celebrating. I was just writing in my journal about how happy I feel now that I’m spending dedicated hours each day to follow my dream of being a writer. This is bliss! After so many years of pouring my energy into the dreams of my employer, it feels liberating to spin that energy on my passion. Why did I wait so long? That’s another topic entirely!
Now, back to bliss. Think for a moment about a time when you felt so much happiness inside you thought your bellybutton was going to bust. Well, okay, that might be a little extreme, but it’s a fun image. Do you suppose a bee feels that way when there is an abundance of pollen to be had? Or, what about a cat getting all crazy on the catnip or a bear finding the perfect tree to help with that back scratch? These are all great examples of what bliss looks like to me.
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Life Gifts
- Sending you pillows of prosperity to share with yourself and others.
- I send you healing, detoxifying energy as your body benefits and heals from your weekend massage.
- I send you chortles, giggles, and warm hugs.
- I send you love.
- I send you fireworks of inspiration.
- I send you billowing bubbles of joy.
- I send you large bundles of gratitude for being who you are, and for being connected with me.
- I send you buckets of bubbling, juicy kindness.
- I send you focus as you practice setting up new routines to support your engagement with your true self.
- Sending you a bubble full of love and healing, to hold you and your heart.
- I send you showers of strength as you walk your journey.
- I send you different flavored lollipops to quench your craving.
- I send you warm nourishing rays of light.
- I send you patience to allow new things to unfold positively for your life.
- Sending you the best of birthday wishes and some special binoculars for you to see all the puddles of goodness that follow you around and support you.
- Sending you nourishing soup for your soul.
- I send you inspiration to put thoughts on paper.
- I send you focus and energy as you write today.
- I send you comfort, joy and sustenance through your retirement.
- I send you calm as you step back into work from being off for a few weeks.
- I send you fresh, crisp apple bites of life to bite into everyday.
- Sending you a luxury craft to drift in a while you regroup.
- I send you clocks that indicate there is plenty of time.
- I send you light energy to charge your healthy cells and create health.
- Sending you bright colored paint for your life canvas.
- I send you over-flowing cups of love to restore your heart and soul.
- Sending you oodles of energy noodles.
- I send you a warm, relaxing breeze, a comfortable hammock with sounds of water lapping on the shore.
- I send you bright-colored flowers that fragrantly shower your surroundings with joy and delight.
- I send you buckets of smiles to share with everyone you meet.
- Sending you joy.
- I send you healing energy as you mend your heart and body.
- I send you a path of petals on which to tread as you navigate life.
- Sending you peace and beauty, like the glassy stillness of a lake before the breeze’s caress stirs things up.
- I send you light to illuminate the places inside you that seem dark.
- I send you contagious child-like giggles and unstoppable smiles.
- Sending you blankets of love to help you feel safe.
- Sending you patience while your body heals.
- I send you the deep, rich colors of berries to paint your soul.
- I send you lush green mountain meadows splattered with wildflowers for you to rest and rejuvenate your soul.
- Sending you sparkly confetti in celebration of your accomplishments today.
- I send you pregnant pauses to remember how much you are loved and cared for.
- I send you music to make your insides dance.
- I send you bright flowers to see, smell, enjoy, and nurture.
- Sending you music to fill your heart with warmth and comfort.
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