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When friendships pause, this can introduce different dynamics in the relationship. Sometimes when a relationship pauses, it ends. (That’s a topic for another time.) Other times, the pause causes a suspension of sorts, but the essence of the bond remains untouched.
When a friendship pauses, you might assume the relationship is at the end of an era. However, the truth might be far more enchanting than you realize. Think of it as a magical journey into the world of the in-between. While the friendship may not progress in a conventional sense, its foundation remains unshaken. Unread messages, missed calls, and incomplete plans all still exist, awaiting the right moment.
I’ve experienced this. When we graduated high school, my best friend and I went our separate ways. We each did life differently, but the essence of our relationship sat patiently in suspension until the moment came for us to reconnect. And you know what? We picked up right where we left off. Sure, we each did some growing up during our pause period, but the essence of who we were as friends never changed. I love that about our relationship. The pause was okay; we still loved each other.
These pauses in relationships can teach us that the ebb and flow of life can affect the bonds we hold dear, but it doesn’t diminish their significance. These friendships whisper to us, “Even in the stillness, I’m here.” Sometimes, life’s responsibilities take precedence, forcing friends to venture down separate paths. Other times, distance or circumstances intervene, creating an invisible wall between two hearts. Yet, when you press the pause button, these friendships become an ethereal presence, a flicker of light in the dark corners of our memories.
Fear not! Friendships that pause have the potential to dance back into our lives. They are the unfinished symphonies, waiting for their grand finale. When the time is right, they reawaken with a burst of color, as if the universe conspires to bring them back together.
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Emotional maturity – what does that mean? Our world is full of both goodness and social unrest. My observations of current world issues lead me to believe there is value in conscious emotional awareness – emotional maturity.
Consider events such as politics, corporate well-being, crimes against others, grief, anger, school shootings, and so on. Conscious or unconscious emotional responses have everything to do with the maturity of our leaders, children, families, and individuals.
Emotional maturity means understanding how we experience and respond to feelings. For a simple example, imagine someone speaking harshly toward you. What is the first emotion you feel? Shock, anger, misunderstood, defensive, or something similar. When you feel the emotion, is it conscious or unconscious? For a unique example, remember someone who speaks lovingly to you. How is your immediate emotional feeling different from the first example? Caring, open, understanding, and warm. Again, when you feel the emotion, is it conscious or unconscious?
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Work brain versus retirement brain is an idea I’m exploring more about, now that I’m retired. I’m specifically thinking about ways those two mindsets can complement each other, and how they differ from one another. Then, beyond that, how they impact the quality of life.
When I was in the workforce, I understood the focus of a structured routine, a focus on productivity, and the desire to achieve success. I found creative ways to interject my passions into those corporate structures in order to pacify my desire to feel fulfilled and happy with my work. Now that I’m retired, I still define structures for myself, but they are more geared toward living my passions.
Work brain is essential for career growth and advancement. The longer I was in that mindset, though, the more I felt like I was in a tunnel that kept me from living my personal passions and interests. Now that I’m retired, I wonder how I could have elevated that sense of personal fulfillment within the confines of corporate structure.
In an ideal world, wouldn’t it be nice if all our ‘day jobs’ were happily married to our ‘passions?’ There are several people who find that sweet spot and enjoy a whirlwind of success with it. Some people find a palatable job to pay the bills and push their dreams aside. There’s got to be a sweet spot in there somewhere! I suppose this is part of the experiment we all have as we progress through our lives.
What if we could allow our hearts and minds to live for those our fulfilling passions and get paid for that? If you could have the best of both worlds, what does that picture look like for you? I have lived my life largely keeping them separate, but now that I’m retired, I wonder how I might have done that differently. Maybe my musings will stir some ideas in your creative living.
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When you think about feeling serene, what comes to mind? In the hustle of our daily lives, it’s nice to take a moment to feel serene. It has a way of allowing us to grab a perspective outside of rush-rush-rush that centers our hearts. Nature settings come to mind when I think about feeling serene: a nice sunset, a still body of water, a peaceful garden, or seeing a rainbow after a storm.
When I experience this emotion, my body feels content. Everything feels calm and undisturbed. There are moments we feel serene, but when was the last time you put a word on it? Where does serenity gather in your body when you feel it?
As I grow my emotional vocabulary, serenity is important to have on the tip of my tongue. I strive for calm in my life and having a word in place to describe it helps to breed more of what I want. Isn’t it interesting how focusing on something breeds more of it? Mmm, serene. It’s like a refreshing bite of delicious goodness.
Having chaos in my life comes so naturally. I don’t have to ask for it — it just seems to surface around every corner, if I let it. If I’m seeking to feel more calm, what if I look around those corners for serenity?
Do you suppose more of it would show up if I kept my eyes peeled for it? I think so.
I like how we can reach out and grab what we desire with emotions. Serene is one I want to grab more often. I’ve never sat down and tried to write about this emotion before, and I’m finding myself struggling to put words around it. I love the way it feels and want more of it. Never thought about the perspective of using this emotional vocabulary to boost my emotional system.
We can make more of what we want in our lives emotionally…
If you would like to explore more feelings in the Stayin’ in Touch – Positive Emotions book, click here for more information.
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I’m delighted to explore this thrilled emotion. Do you recall the most recent occasion that made you feel thrilled? Though it may seem self-serving… My most recent thrill came when I got my Stayin’ In Touch series of books made available on Amazon. For those of you who may not know, I self-published this 10-book series last year but didn’t have them KDP-friendly for Amazon. Yay! Now they’re available on Amazon. These ‘emotion’ posts are my personal samples from these books. (I’m currently working through the Stayin’ In Touch – Positive Emotions book.)
Back to feeling thrilled. This feeling makes my whole body tingle with excitement and delight. It’s like all the cells and atoms that make me up resonate and tingle together; through my arms and legs, my trunk, and my soul. It’s a good feeling, isn’t it?
I think I feel thrilled more frequently than I realize. Having a name for it and putting a face on it gives me an opportunity to look around and see it more often. Isn’t it amazing that we experience so many emotions in a day and that we can change how we feel from one moment to the next?
It’s interesting to explore positive emotions. When I think about exploring different emotions, I gravitate toward less comfortable emotions. That’s where it seems the growth is. But I also think exploring positive emotions has an equal value. There is an interesting energy created by naming positive emotions. It makes them more prevalent in my consciousness. This gives my general disposition an opportunity to grab one of those to play with instead of a more negatively framed emotion.
It’s fun to feel thrilled. It’s like acknowledging an accomplishment or fulfilling a dream to feel thrilled about it. Whatever adventure brings you a thrilled feeling, feel it vigorously. It’s a great feeling!
Emotions are like color in our souls…
If you would like to explore more feelings in the Stayin’ in Touch – Positive Emotions book, click here for more information.
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You may have heard the expression, a long road to a small house. We could interpret this as a long, long journey to get to a destination. I want to look at this differently as it pertains to getting something accomplished. Remember, there are many roads to get to a destination.
When I worked in a corporate environment, sometimes I got something done in ways that didn’t fit into someone else’s mold. This was not always an accepted practice and caused some nice ruckus occasionally. There are those times, for regulatory purposes, following protocols is a must. I get that! But outside the boundaries of regulations, does it really matter how you get to your endpoint?
As a leader in an organization, you have a goal to accomplish. Said leader probably has a team to help get to the target. In the larger scope of things, regulations aside, does it matter if I use a purple binder instead of a green one? Maybe I work better with my headphones on, blocking out the surrounding chatter so I can think. Or, perhaps I take my laptop outside on a pretty day to sit under a tree, but I still get to the target. Is my way wrong, or just different?
As leaders, it is important to remember your team is there to help you accomplish, to get to a house. If they choose a paved road to a house or a grassy tundra to the same house, does it really matter? Maybe the paved road is a little longer than the tundra route. The house is most important, is it not? Choose a road and get to the house, but get to the house, that’s the most important.
Now, back to that long road to a small house. Shortcuts are not always the best idea, for sure. Sometimes, though, if a shorter road to the house still gets it done without negatively impacting the organization, is there anything wrong with that? All this to plant a seed. As a leader, be open to the gifts your team offer, even if their road is a little different from yours.
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Meeting people where they are is probably one of the simplest and most genuine things you can do in any type of relationship. We’ve all had conversations with people that don’t get us. They aren’t the most moving conversations in the world, and I, for one, walk away feeling unheard, unrecognized, and completely misunderstood.
Think about your friends and family. There are those you feel closer to than others. Now, think about the ones you feel closer to. Why do you feel closer to them? Is it because it’s their way or the highway? I think not. When someone does not see or hear you, it feels less intimate. It feels disconnected and, on some level, it feels like what’s going on with me doesn’t matter (unheard, unrecognized, misunderstood).
How about this? When I converse with someone who sees and hears me, I feel a greater connection with them. It feels closer. I feel like they are meeting me where I am. Their beliefs or ideas about topics may be drastically different from mine, and that’s okay. When they are with me and my thoughts, without pushing their own, I feel heard and understood. Doesn’t that feel great? I’m more apt to share what’s really going on inside when this door is open.
On the flip side, when I listen to them, if they are sharing something that is outside my wheelhouse, allowing them to have their belief, however different it is from mine, creates a deeper connection. There’s no need for them to be in my space in order for us to relate to each other. I like them; I like who they are, and it’s okay for them to do themselves.
There are as many beliefs about things as there are people in this world. Because we are each unique individuals, isn’t it okay for me to meet you where you are, and for you to meet me where I am? Can we be friends, colleagues, or family and have these differences? Maybe there’s something to this idea of meeting people where they are. Shall we play with it a little?
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Life Gifts
- I send you soothing healing.
- I send you delicious moments to remove clutter from your life.
- I send you a warm hand to hold as you experience the array of feelings that go along with the death of your loved one.
- I send you patience to allow new things to unfold positively for your life.
- I send you buckets of smiles to share with everyone you meet.
- I send you different flavored lollipops to quench your craving.
- I send you light energy to charge your healthy cells and create health.
- I send you fireworks of inspiration.
- I send you healing, detoxifying energy as your body benefits and heals from your weekend massage.
- I send you energetic bursts of joy.
- I send you succulent sweet chocolate kisses and delightfully warm hugs.
- Sending you the best of birthday wishes and some special binoculars for you to see all the puddles of goodness that follow you around and support you.
- Sending you love and caring.
- I send you healing love and energy.
- I send you chortles, giggles, and warm hugs.
- I send you delicious caring and big love.
- Sending you a magical cool sheet to snuggle in and feel safe.
- I send you peaces.
- I send you lush green mountain meadows splattered with wildflowers for you to rest and rejuvenate your soul.
- Sending you friendship to warm your heart and knowledge that you’re loved.
- I send you warm nourishing rays of light.
- I send you showers of strength as you walk your journey.
- I send you showers of strength as you walk your journey.
- I send you moments of pause so that you can remember you are loved and cared for.
- I send you contagious child-like giggles and unstoppable smiles.
- Sending you buckets of patience to spill in all the places that need some—be sure to douse yourself with some.
- Sending you nourishing rest and mindful body care.
- I send you revolving hours of joy for writing about what you want to write about.
- I send you a path of petals on which to tread as you navigate life.
- I send you a cuddly blanket of appreciation for the beautiful person you are in this world.
- I send you fresh strawberries to enjoy in a mild, sunny meadow upon a lush spring mountain.
- I send you large bundles of gratitude for being who you are, and for being connected with me.
- I send you buckets of bubbling, juicy kindness.
- Sending you rain to nourish the earth so that the earth can nourish you.
- I send you billowing bubbles of joy.
- I send you love.
- I send you showers of grace and peace.
- I send you quiet fields of lavender to enjoy soft, quiet moments.
- I send you focus as you practice setting up new routines to support your engagement with your true self.
- I send you courage and honor.
- I send you joy as I think about how delightful you are.
- I send you calm and gentle breezes wafting love and joy around you.
- I send you flexibility to allow your writing dream to come to life as you live it.
- I send you whimsical moments that make you giggle out loud, whether or not you’re around people.
- I send you a warm, relaxing breeze, a comfortable hammock with sounds of water lapping on the shore.
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